Category Archives: observations

My Potential According to a 4th Grader

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I am working again this year as a part time tutor to elementary school kids.

Over the past 17 years I’ve been a special education teacher, a math support teacher, and finally a tutor.

I actually love the tutoring job because it’s so flexible – let’s me be at home and at work.

But I love it even more because of the kids.

I work with kindergarten, first, second, third, fourth, and fifth graders and they all say the funniest things.

Edward, one of my regular 4th graders, and I were working on division together. One of the methods the kids are taught now is something called “Big 7.” It’s basically a way to regroup using groups of a certain number. Here’s an example I found of what it looks like:

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Anyway, I love to teach this to kids. It always looks like such a nightmare of numbers and they give up pretty quick since teachers always jump in too far too quick. Start by dividing by 8? Not yet I always want to scream. Start with the 5’s, those are easy numbers for kids.

The whole point of the strategy is that kids are using friendly numbers TO THEM. Not my friendly numbers but their friendly numbers.

x10, x100, x5, x2, x1 – that’s how we start

And let me clarify for all those parents who are about to yell at me that they didn’t learn it that way, or its dumb, or but I don’t understand, or but kids just need to learn the right way….they will eventually learn the traditional method. This is about understanding the concept of division.

So back to Edward and I.

We were working in his classroom working on Big 7 and he was getting it!

It’s at about this point that he turned to me and said, “Mrs. Mac, do you think when you grow up you are going to be a teacher? Because you are a really good helper.”

Made my day.

First, that he thinks I’m a good helper and second, that he thinks I look like I have several more years ahead of me in the job market.

To be honest, when the kindergarteners ask how old I am, I always have them guess. Their top answer choice is always…teenager. When I tell them to guess again they usually say 50. I’ve learned to stop asking them once they say teenager.

To Edward I said, “Thanks Edward. I think that might be a good idea. Maybe I’ll work on that. Now amaze me with your division skills on the next problem.”

Ruthless – Mom Observation

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Inviting people over to dinner always seems like a good idea until you look around your house the day of the event….And once it’s under an hour before their expected arrival it’s amazing how unsentimental you can suddenly become toward your children’ school work which has sat on the countertop for the last two weeks.

Traced hands to make flowers…thrown out without another thought

a perfect 100 on a spelling test…straight to the recycle bin

Self portrait of daughter and her dad…saved thankfully by a moment of restraint

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A “Bench” of Personality

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The longer I am married the more I have come to realize that I am the big thinker in the marriage. Let’s build a house! Let’s go to Disney World! Let’s paint the piano!

All of these big ideas stress out my detailed oriented thinking husband. I never have a plan of how we are going to accomplish these things, I just always say let’s do it. My husband, ever the detail man, begins to lay down the no’s. I promptly ignore him and say we can do it! Whatever it is, I have faith in us. Whatever it is, he sees the obstacles. He’s an engineer and it shows.

I’m fairly sure it’s what makes our marriage work almost 18 years later. One of us is the gas, one of us is the brakes. Without my husband, I would surely be in debt, live in a fully decked out house, and keep up with the Jones’. (OK, I’m actually not that bad – I’m the one who cut cable to cut costs.) Without me, my husband would surely live in a house with only a mattress and a tv, drive a car from the early 90’s, and die as a lonely miser who would have prepaid his own funeral at cost. (Ok, he’s actually not that bad either – he would live with a mattress, tv, cable, and pizza delivery).

My very long and convoluted point being….I wanted to paint the piano.

“Come on…let’s paint the piano!”

My husband has not been impressed each time I have mentioned this for the past two years.

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In an effort to reach those 18 years of marriage and then move onto 19 I decided this was one of those things that I am just going to let drop. It’s really not that important and is a huge task.

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So instead we recovered the piano bench in 10 minutes on one of the snow days.

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Here’s how the project went down:

Me – “Here’s a piece of fabric to cover the piano bench with.”

My husband – “Is it big enough? Are we going to staple it in? Do we need to take the leather off first? Will we have to replace the hinges?

Me: “I don’t know…let’s just do it.”

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I believe all sides are happy with the result and thrilled that this project has come to an end.

But don’t you worry dear…I’m dreaming up all sorts of projects that you will love.

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Because we can do it!

Random Thoughts #1

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Mindy over at Rindy Mae does “Random Thoughts and Tidbits” posts from time to time and they are some of my favorite to read so I thought it was time for my own such post.

*My 9 year old was looking at animals on the local animal shelter website, found one he liked, and called me over. I said the dog was cute. He then proceeded to run around the house and scream, “Mom said we could get another dog. We are bringing Bailee home!” I had to crush him by telling him, no, that is not what I said. There are no new dogs joining our family anytime soon. He has not given up yet though as he keeps talking and talking about getting another dog.

*Every night at 9 my husband and I watch an episode of Modern Family. Funniest show ever. We have never watched it before but we are loving it.

*I made these Individual Frozen Key Lime Pies and they are a big hit at our house. I don’t partake in any of the eating since I firmly believe the words fruit and dessert should never be joined together.

*My mom is sending us a king cake in a few weeks. To say we are all excited is an understatement.

*This is the model for the curvy jeans on the GAP website – umm….Houston I think we have a problem…the girl is gorgeous but curvy? Me thinks not. LOOK AT HER THIGHS!

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*This is a sweet post about being a “Mommy” that my sister-in-law sent me.

*Currently my 5 year old says she’s going to live in a house right next door to us when she grows up. My 9 year old, on the other hand, enjoys telling us that he’s going to move far away.  My 12 year old is sort of indifferent about the whole thing.

*I’ve been home all week with two kids who have taken turns being sick on various days, therefore, I haven’t been at work. On Saturday I get to teach Saturday school to 3rd graders for 4 hours. 4 hours of teaching math! So much fun for me and thankfully they are still young enough to be enthusiastic about measuring themselves with tape measures, creating fractions with skittles, and creating area problems out of cheez-its. I’m so looking forward to it.

*”Caroline it’s time to go run some errands.” She comes down from her room a few minutes later. “I’m ready.”

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Shorts leggings on top of pants leggings with knee socks on top of those – Long sleeve shirt under short sleeve shirt which says, “I am made of awesome.”

Yes you are awesome sweet thing.

“Alright, get your shoes on.”

Have a great weekend everyone!

And please feel free to add your own random thoughts below 🙂

 

Mom Rant

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I’m going to rant for a moment.

It won’t be becoming of me or show the nice side of myself but it will be truthful.

Parents can sometimes suck.

I’m not excluding myself from this group, sometimes I suck.

But not in this area.

Party attendance.

My  mom raised us with the idea that when you are invited to a party you attend.

It doesn’t matter if they are not your best friend or your parents really don’t want to sit at Chuck E Cheese for 2 hours. If you can attend the party, you do.

Someone took the time to invite you. You never really know how many other kids have been invited or who else will show up. But you know that you will go if you can.

Several times my kids have been the only “school” friend to show up to someones party. That’s terrible when you know the entire class has been given an invitation.

I understand people have soccer games, parents work, family is in town, or any other reason that has ever been given for not attending a party.

I’m sure the thought process is…well we don’t really know this kid so we’re not going to go but I’m sure other kids will go…I’m here to tell you that a lot of time, no, the other kids are not going to the party. Therefore, no one from school is at the party.

We just had our annual Halloween party this weekend and to be honest, I was disappointed. My daughter said, “Mom, why didn’t my friends from school come?”

Out of the 13 classmates my daughter has in her class, only one child came to the party. ONE. And that was the only person who RSVP’d.  That’s wrong people. At least respond that you aren’t coming.

Thankfully,  we have really wonderful family friends who brought their children to the party so my daughter had friends there. But she still wondered aloud several times after the party on where her school friends were and honestly, it broke my heart for her.

She was so excited to bring the invitations to school and was eagerly anticipating sharing the pinata we made, the marshmallow toss game, and sweet treats with her friends.

I don’t know preschool parents.

I’m disappointed in you.

You could have done better.

But I will continue to teach my kids what I think is right.

So the next time my daughter receives a party invitation from school, we are going.

Because it’s the right thing to do.

At least in our house.

Super Mom?

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The other day my 5 year old and I were lying on the bed reading our own books after shower time.

I was reading a wonderful book and Caroline was looking at a Wonder Woman book she had chosen from the library.

I was enjoying our calm moment together when suddenly Caroline said with a sigh, “I guess I’ll never know who my real parents are.”

And then she continued reading as if she had just stated she wanted a glass of water.

I paused for a moment debating my options. After all, I do have a 6 inch scar proving that this kid came from my body. I decided to run with it.

“Who are your real parents?”

“They’re super heroes.”

“What super power do they have?”

“They can fly.”

“I wish Daddy and I had super powers like that.”

“Me too.”

“I love you Caroline.”

“I love you too Mommy.”

Move Over Mia Hamm

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So this happened last weekend…

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Caroline played in her first soccer game.

After watching her brothers play in roughly 692,000 games over the last five years, she is so excited to be on a team and play in her own games.

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To mark the occasion, Caroline and I went to buy a new pink mesh bag which holds her new pink soccer ball. We also dusted off her brother’s old cleats and shin guards which she couldn’t be more happy to get to wear – except for the fact that she hates the feeling of the shin guards so she puts her socks on first and then puts the shin guards on top of the socks.

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Now with Caroline, who we like to call “spirited,” there was no telling what the first game would bring – happiness? tears? refusal to play?

Well, I’m happy to report she was so happy (anyone else feel like this post should be sponsored by Pharrell Williams?)! She ran and ran around the field. At times, she was no where near the ball, just playing her own imaginary game, serpentining all around the field.

While the rest of us were sweating in the 101 degree heat, she was running around with such joy.

Apparently she runs better when sticking out her tongue because she did that the entire game – from here on out I’m calling her the Michael Jordan of soccer.

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Of course when she wasn’t sticking her tongue out while running she was squeezing her lips while she watched everyone else go for the ball. Everyone else is cheering ,”Run,” while my husband and I are cheering, “Get your hands out of your mouth.”

 

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And then the ball came her way!

And she ran with it!

Kicking it down the field!

 

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And she scored!

The smile that came from her was amazing.

(I would have loved to show you that smile but my 9 year old had the camera at the time and stopped taking pictures right before she scored. I think he was as excited as the rest of us for Caroline and was cheering).

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Goal or no goal, game 692,001 was a success!

Move over Mia, here comes Caroline!

A Little “Old Lady”

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My 5 year old and I went shoe shopping for me the other day.

I was in need of a new pair of heels and since the boys had already started school Caroline went with me.

At  the first store the saleslady handed me the tan nylon socks to try some shoes on with. While I couldn’t have cared less about them, Caroline was enamored with them. She grabbed herself a pair to try on and then “tried on” many pairs of shoes. I didn’t find anything I liked so we went on with our search.

In and out of stores we went, desperately looking for a pair that were comfy, cheap, and most importantly, came in a size 10.

Sidenote: For all of you people with average feet I am deeply envious. To be able to walk up to a shoe display and actually place your entire foot into the shoe to see how it looks is something I can only dream of. I place my size 10 feet into the display shoes and get to see how three of my crunched up toes look.

Anyway, Caroline and I were searching for a pair of simple gold heels for my brother’s wedding. Well, at least that’s what I was searching for. Apparently Caroline was searching for shoes for me to go walk the streets of Louisville and pick up a few extra bucks while on our trip.

She pulled heels with three inch soles, heels with bows, heels with bows and buckles, heels with clear soles, pink patent leather heels, and her personal favorite, heels completely decorated in varying blue and green sequins which resulted in a peacock feathers design.

She was able to pull these shoes because they were all in the clearance section.

I can’t imagine why.

For some of the shoes I humored her and put them on when she asked me too. I mean, how else would I have known that five inch heels are not my thing – although the blue sequin ones did give me a moments pause.

After several stores we decided we needed to eat some lunch. While standing in line waiting for our lunch, I realized Caroline had added to her shorts and t-shirt combo from this morning.

On her feet were the nylon socks she had tried on in the first store.

Sandals and nylons. It’s like I was shopping with an 85 year old woman.

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Caroline knew she had the “socks” on and was completely content with her look. After a brief moment of weighing my options, I decided I was going to be content too so I said nothing.

We finished our shopping, eventually finding a pair of shoes which worked for me – spoiler alert: they were not the blue sequined peacock shoes.

As we left the store walking hand and hand I looked down at Caroline and just smiled.

Shoe shopping with my little “old lady” was definitely a good day.

Tomorrow we have to go shoe shopping for her – I kind of want to stop by the lady’s department first  : )

Hello, Is Anyone Out There?

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Hello.

Is anyone out there?

It’s been so long since I posted and yet it seems like just yesterday.

I’m not sure I even remember how to post anymore.

Since March I’ve sat down at the computer many times to write but it just didn’t happen. Maybe next week I’ll write. Maybe next month I’ll write because my heart won’t hurt so much. Well before you know its six months later and your heart still hurts.

Now please don’t call the authorities on me or send out the counselors.

I’ve got plenty to be happy and thankful for. My children and my husband make me laugh and smile every single day. Really its every single hour.

I’m here to say that its possible to move on but still have a tiny place in your heart that will always be sad. I think that’s the way it is for anyone who’s experienced a death. And for me it was the death of a dream, of a family member I had already placed deep into my heart.

Who knows what the future holds for us but I do want you to know that I’m here and experiencing life and its joys and I think I’m just about ready to start sharing with you again.

After all, how else am I going to remember that my daughter called my tummy squishy and my personal favorite lately…

Mom, take off your sunglasses.

OK. Why?

I want to see all those crinkles by your eyes.

(Sigh) Do you want to know who put a lot of those crinkles there?

Yes.

You.

Me?

Yes you. With the help of your brothers.

Maybe you should put your sunglasses back on so we don’t see the crinkles.

Sounds like a plan.

My Lifetime Movie Life

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There are times when I feel like my life is being filmed for a TV movie of the week for the Lifetime Channel.

And this is one of those times.

Two days before Valentine’s Day we received word from the federal attorneys that our adoption agency was being shut down.

As in goodbye, kaput, all gone, no more.

And our money that we had turned in?

It was also goodbye, kaput, all gone, no more.

Thousands and thousands of dollars.

We were informed that if we had received a referral the government would help us finish the adoption process.

We were literally next on the list to receive a referral.

So that leaves us, and one hundred other families, with no adoption to follow through with and federal attorneys who say it’s completely up to us if we want to try and get some of our money back. They can’t help us. They are going to keep us up to date on legal proceedings but helping us with money? Nope. Can’t do. Not our area folks.

See, just like a Lifetime movie.

But sadly there’s no Tom Selleck or Dana Delaney character who’s about to sweep in and take our case.

Believe me when I say I had no humor about this situation when it first happened.

I almost instantly became physically ill with a severe cold and eventually lost my voice.

I blame it on all the crying. and the crying. and the crying.

I had to run a Valentine’s Day party for my son in the initial midst of this and all I really wanted to do was run out of there and sit on the couch watching movies and eating girl scout cookies.

(Don’t even get me started on how many girls can go to camp this year because of my cookie intake in the last 3 weeks).

Even though adoption is something I had wanted to do my whole life, it’s not a decision my husband and I came to easy. There were miscarriages, heart to heart talks, and a long process to get us to the point of actually moving forward with the idea.

I have grumbled with God. Several times.

But God is funny.

Right before we’ve had big losses, I’ve always been offered a job, seemingly out of nowhere. I accept the job and with days to go before my start date something major will happen.

I think it’s God’s way of keeping me moving forward and having a different focus.

I also think I’m never going to take another job in my life. Seems like I might be able to head off some of these life moments.

OK, not true.

But if we win the lottery I might just stick to that thinking.

So I started my new job.

God said, “You think you’ve got problems? Go tutor these homeless kids and then tell me about your problems.”

My new job is tutoring elementary aged kids who are homeless. All of those words should never go together in a sentence but sadly they do.

They are homeless – some sleep in their cars at night, some have beds some of the time until an uncle gets angry and they sleep on the lawn that night with their mom, and some live in shelters.

But I tell you what. They are amazing, beautiful kids. They have the best smiles. They are so eager to learn. They are so happy. They have struggles yes, but they have joy.

And so I take my cue on living life from some 8 year olds who have it much tougher than me.

The past 3 weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions but I feel good about where I am going with this whole life experience.

We are not quite sure what our next step is but that’s okay.We’ve got each other and we’ve got a roof over our heads.

The rest will work itself out.

And if it doesn’t, I’m sure I could hunt down Tom Selleck’s phone number from somewhere.