The “P” Word

I can say vagina. No problem.

I can say penis without batting an eye.

Anytime, anywhere I’m completely fine saying, “Don’t throw the ball at his penis,” or “Yes girls have vaginas and boys have penises.”

But “panties?”

Eew.

No can do.

The word repulses me and makes me quiver.

It’s underwear people!

Let’s use the term.

With my boys this word never even came up. Obviously.

Though even “vagina” came up with them when explaining body differences.

But panties?

No.

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

I hate when someone says the word.

I don’t think I’ll get over it.

The other day when I took Caroline in for her 4 year old check up we were having a good time laughing and playing while waiting for the doctor.

In walks the doctor. A cute hip looking woman who I like a lot.

What’s the first thing she says to Caroline?

“Are you wearing princess panties?”

Eew. Eew. Double eew.

I mean, seriously, you’re a medical professional, let’s use the proper terms lady.

Panties my ass!

Too Much Happy Basket?

I believe in encouragement at school.

Really, I do.

But this is getting ridiculous.

This is from the 1st grade happy basket…

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this is from the 1st grade Treasure Box…

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and this is from the 1st grade End of the Month Box.

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Seriously?

Little trinkets and figures come home with my first grader everyday and quite frankly I’m kind of hoping he gets a few marks in his folder soon so we can slow the plastic assault on our house.

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If this carries on into second grade there won’t be any room left to sleep in his room.

Banner with Ties

Caroline turns 4 today so we are well into party planning mode for the weekend.

For the 11 months and 3 weeks she requested a super hero party on a regular basis.

Last week she decided she wanted a cheetah party.

So we’re having a super hero party where the person of honor is wearing cheetah leggings and a cheetah tutu and calling it,” The Super Hero Party Where People Can Be Super Hero Cheetahs if They Want to Be.”

Classy party we’re hosting around here.

We’re also hosting this party on the cheap so we are using supplies and materials that we already have first and then buying second.

Therefore, the party colors are bright yellow, blue, and pink, since I had leftover fabric from my sisters shower last year. Caroline approved of the colors so we moved forward.

So first up for the Super Hero Party  – the foyer.

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For the “bam” and kapow” signs, I used yellow frames we already had and placed the images I created on the computer inside them.

For the “banner with ties, ” I used fabric strips and string – super easy.

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I cut strips of fabric in varying widths and tied them onto the string with one tie.

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Here I have tied on 3 pieces of fabric.

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Once you have tied a few pieces of fabric, push them together – I know, rocket science here.

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I just kept adding pieces until I thought it was long enough – in the beginning I was worried with how it was turning out but once I had tons of the pieces on there I was happy with it.

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Now onto bean bag boards, painted cardboard boxes, and lots of sewing!

The Things She Says

My little one only has a few days until she turns four.

Hard to believe.

Even in just the past week I think she has grown up so much especially with her pretend play and vocabulary.

Thought I would share just a few fun things I’ve heard this week.

“I don’t want piggy tails in my hair today.”

Standing naked right before getting in the shower: “Look at me, I’m getting huge!”

Walking downstairs talking to her friend: “Let’s go downstairs and ask Jennifer. That’s my mom.”

“I want to play with my boys right now.” (her brothers) 🙂

Your mom read this book to you when you were tiny?” 

“I love you Mommy.”

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40

My husband recently turned 40 so the kids and I decorated for the occasion.

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The glass jars are filled with black beans and then have popsicle sticks standing in the beans.

Each popsicle stick had a little picture the boys chose that represented what they thought turning forty meant.

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And then they start to get good…

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a tortoise…

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..Mr. Fredricksen from the movie UP (of course, he’s a widow in the movie so maybe it’s not so funny)…

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“I might not be over the hill but I’m past the point of no return.”

Just for the record dear, I think 40 is fabulous!

 

Shaving Cream Letters

In school, Caroline learns a new letter each week.

Since she wasn’t really picking up each letter each week, I decided to work with her on the new letter before it is introduced.

This week the letter was P and one of our activities was shaving cream writing.

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Caroline loved it and had lots of fun writing the letters.

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She also had tons of fun just playing.

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Needless to say, she took a shower after this.

The Tooth Fairy

The tooth fairy visited here the other night.

Thank goodness she remembered to come.

On one occasion, a few years ago, the tooth fairy forgot completely.

I think she was distracted with the new Law and Order that was on that night.

Anyway, it was ugly.

Crying ensued, excuses about a storm making it difficult for her to fly were thrown out. An overall disaster.

Thankfully, she remembered to come the following night, bringing money, a toothbrush, and a new book.

You know, Negligent Tooth Fairy Guilt.

Trust me when I say you never want to go through that.

In steps Mr. Tooth Fairy to the rescue.

Immediately upon hearing the words, “I lost a tooth,”  he reaches for his phone and ignores the child completely. He quickly punches in numbers and commands which will alert Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy at 10:03pm.

At said 10:03, an alarm begins to sound.

Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy have no idea what is happening and begin to think it must be time to take out a nonexistent loaf of banana bread.

Soon after though they come to their senses and remember that everyone’s happiness is on the line.

A minor panic occurs when realization hits that no $1 dollar bills are to be found in the house. An intense debate begins on what an awful precedent it would be to give $5 for one tooth.

The problem is eventually solved and Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy have a deep sleep knowing they have completed their mission.

Early the next morning the child is thrilled to wake up and discover 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel under his pillow.

Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy smile and know that everyone’s happiness it all due to that little device sitting on the kitchen counter.

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Apology

For the last 2 weeks I have  included a Valentine joke in the lunchboxes.

One day I placed the following joke in my  first grader’s lunchbox:

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?

You’re fun to hang around with!

Hahahahahahaha.

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Or so I thought.

He came home complaining about the  joke in his lunch.

“Gloria and Farrah were making fun of me saying that Lauren and me are boyfriend and girlfriend just like the bats.”

“What did you do?”

“I told them I was going to tell the teacher.”

“And then what happened?”

“Gloria said, “Please please forgive me.”

“And then?”

“I told her I would forgive her but I was still  going to tell the teacher.”

“And?”

“I told the teacher.”

“”And then what happened?”

“She gave them tally marks when we got back in the classroom.”

“And?”

“And I feel good about that.”

I decided not to send a Valentine in his lunchbox the next day.

Happy Valentine’s Day

My husband and I were watching a taped Katie Couric show the other day.

In the beginning he fained interest but was disappointed when I turned it off.

The show was about plastic surgery mishaps.

The stories, pictures, and agony these guests went thru truly made my stomach turn.

Anyway, after viewing the stories I said, “Well, you’ll just have to except that I will be old, saggy, and gray.”

There are many replies he could have had but he chose this one.

“It’s okay that you are going to be old, saggy, and gray.”

I was thinking more along the lines of, “You will be beautiful to me no matter what,” or even, “You will always be beautiful to me.”

 But that’s not what I got.

I teased him and we laughed.

He made it up to me by buying a few boxes of girl scout cookies which I thought was perfect.

Now he will have to love me old, saggy, gray, and fat 🙂

Love you always Derek!

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