Took the kids to the circus yesterday.
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It was tons of fun.
Only problem is that my boys are now practicing on their beds to become Chinese acrobats.
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I am sure a trip to the hospital is imminent.
Category Archives: observations
Shameless
I was a shameless mother to Caroline.
But in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you this.
After consuming a dinner of milk, orange slices, and cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster last Friday night, Caroline proceeded to vomit her entire stomach contents on the restaurant floor.
It was a lot. I’m talking change of shoes and clothing bad.
I’m pretty sure I will never eat another cheddar biscuit for as long as I live.
Oh, and it was our first and only trip to Red Lobster.
The following day Caroline and I ended up in the children’s book section of Borders while the boys finished up in a movie. One hour into the movie and she was done so we went for a walk.
Caroline and I were standing side by side browsing the movie section when I let quite a foul smelling gas escape. It was silent. I do have some pride.
At the moment of release, a woman stopped directly behind us to examine a book.
I’m not proud of what I did next.
I bent down and said, “Caroline, do we need to change your diaper?”
Yes. I Did. I blamed her for the smell.
Let me just remind you about REGURGITATED CHEDDAR BISCUITS ON THE FLOOR!
A little tit for tat.
I am pitiful and shameless.
And smelly.
My Little Pony…Not for Little Ones Anymore
Recently, I discovered the “My Little Pony” of yesterday and the “My Little Pony” of today are quite different.
I turned on the television for Caroline in an attempt to distract her so I could cook dinner. Seeing as my only two choices were “Scooby Doo” and “My Little Pony,” I went with the later, and walked into our adjacent kitchen.
I listened to the show as I was taking out the boxed macaroni and cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, and applesauce began cutting some fresh vegetables for dinner. As I listened to more of the dialogue I realized something was amiss.
My sisters and I had a whole herd of ponies when we were younger. First came the ponies which later morphed into the unicorns and seahorses. In fact, we were such My Little Pony connoisseurs we even had the plastic traveling case. I know…we were the cool kids. We played for hours on end with the ponies, combing their hair with the color coordinating brushes and creating stories for our menagerie.
Good childhood memories.
As I walked back to the television, I was convinced the soundtrack must have been switched with another show. I had always associated My Little Pony with sweet stories of friendship and this is not what I was hearing. Something must be wrong with the channel. I pulled up the synopsis of this particular episode…. shortly before I ended up changing the channel.
Here’s what it said:
Friendship is Magic: Part 2
Twilight and the rest of her friends join forces to fight the evil Night Mare moon, who has not only stolen the magical elements of Harmony from Equestria, but also kidnapped the pony kingdom’s beloved Princess Celestia.
Not quite the “My Little Pony” that I remember.
In fact, it sounds a little like the description of a porno movie to me.
Feeling Warm
I was worried for several days that I might be going through early menopause
Turns out I accidentally turned on the seat warmers in my car
What Are They Really Like?
At the very minimum, I have read at least one piece of children’s literature everyday for the last nine years.
Through those daily readings I have become quite familiar with some characters. I have visited museums with them, gone camping with them, and even rescued a baby whale.
But I want to go deeper. What are their lives really like?
Let’s examine a few angles the authors might take next time.
I’m sure these could be best sellers.
Does the man with the yellow hat realize the reason he is still single is due to the fact that he wears the same bizarre outfit everyday and lives with a monkey? And what makes him think George will stay beside him this time? It’s time to invest in a leash and match.com my friend.
Do Emily Elizabeth’s parents pay more for lawn service than their neighbors? Due to the enormous dung piles in their yard I would guess they must pay at least double. Of course, they probably make a hefty profit on the colossal produce they are able to sell at the local farmer’s market.
Does Mama Bear ever regret marrying Papa Bear? He is apparently a huge dolt who must have the highest health insurance premiums in Bear Country. Although on the flip side Mama must be a drinker since she still lets Papa Bear take the cubs on adventures knowing full well what the outcome will be. Maybe social services should look in on Brother and Sister Bear.
Pondering anything about your favorite characters?
143 Acts
I am closing in on what was my due date.
This pregnancy started with surprise, which led to excitement, which led to fear, which ended in grief. So now only sad memories are associated with this pregnancy and I would like to change that. Even though I cannot change the ending I can twist the ending into one associated with positive memories.
According to my doctor I was 20 weeks 3 days pregnant when I had my miscarriage. This equals 143 days.
I have decided I would like to complete 143 random acts of kindness which will correlate with the number of days I was pregnant.
I am calling it 143 Acts.
Some of what I have struggled with is – That’s it. He’s gone. The end. No one will remember him. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? What’s the reason our family went through all of this?
Everyday, heartbreaking events “just happen.” There is no rhyme or reason, they just happen. They are not punishments, they are not tests, they just happen.
I may never know why we went through this but I know I can change my thoughts about it. Hopefully, each of his 143 days will mean something by 143 people getting a smile or a good feeling in their heart.
I will be keeping a list of the 143 acts. If you decide to carry out a random act of kindness, let me know and I will include you on the list. Periodically I will give you updates on my progress.
I have written up some ideas for random acts of kindness.
Hopefully this will help bring me some closure to the past 9 months while at the same time bringing a smile to others.
Undercover Veggie
Shhhh….my kids ate zucchini today but they have no idea.
Somewhere I failed as a parent in regards to my kids’ eating.
We are not one of those families where the kids eat everything on their plate.
“Oh, Johnny just loves his salmon with asparagus and sushi.”
No, it’s more, “Oh, Alex loves his hamburgers and grilled cheese,” over here.
But to be honest, I’m not really worried.
At one point my youngest sister ate only white food.
For years.
Mashed potatoes, pasta, mashed potatoes, pasta?
Seriously, I don’t know what she ate but she seems to be fine now.
Plus, her food groups have expanded to include green and red foods so there’s hope for my kids.
I have begun “sneaking in” veggies as a little backup for my confidence that all will be fine.
Caroline likes orange juice. In fact, she eats and drinks just about every fruit.
But not one vegetable. I’m sorry I misspoke, she is a corn on the cob connoisseur but that’s it.
So now she drinks her 3/4 orange juice and 1/4 carrot juice combo in the morning. She’s happy and I feel like I can color in one minor section of the food pyramid.
The boys are not much better since they do not stray far from salad and carrots.
I came across a banana chocolate chip zucchini bread recipe in blog world. What? One of these things is not like the other. Zucchini? There have been several gagging incidents at our dining room table over cooked zucchini. Amazingly, we’ve never had any gagging incidents from banana bread or chocolate chips.
Soooooo…I immediately printed out the recipe, gathered the ingredients, and made the bread this morning (naturally doubling the chocolate chips suggested).
I admit the smell was pretty enticing. When I announced the chocolate chip banana bread was ready there were whoops and hollers.
Well folks. Good news. Caroline ate her piece while Andrew had seconds and Alex had thirds. I am pretty sure they consumed exactly 0.05% of the daily serving suggestion for vegetables but it’s more than before.
Hmmm…anyone for turnip tiramisu?
***UPDATE*****
Apparently the one sitting where they consumed a large portion of the brad was a fluke. Alex & Andrew are now refusing to eat the the very same bread they fought over exactly one day ago. Excuse me while I go bash my head on a tree.
A Watched Pot
Last week as Alex was searching for something for lunch he asked me, “Do you know how to make mac n’cheese?”
I took it as an insult.
While I am admittedly a bad cook, I can at least make mac n’cheese.
From a box that is.
Let’s not get all crazy and make it from scratch.
Plus, I’ve made it a good hundred times or so for him. Doesn’t he remember at least one of those occasions?
Alex decided he was going to learn the very detailed and complex process of making this gourmet lunch.
I walked him through all the steps and watched as he proudly served his brother lunch.
Turns out his first attempt was so successful he decided to cook it again today. This time though he drove me crazy. Off and on. Off and on. Off and on went the lid.
I explained the phrase “A watched pot never boils” to him in hopes of getting him to walk away for a few minutes.
I should not have bothered.
He thought his idea was much better.
I cannot wait to see what he does when I explain, “A chip on your shoulder.”
A Little Hairy Target Fun
For just $1.00….
Frida, Adolph, & others can visit you
Run to Target and get some ‘staches!
Pat Morita Lives in Our House
Meet our little Mr. Miyagi
Let me widen the screen a bit on Mr. Miyagi.
Notice anything?
No?
Let me point something out to you.
Our sensei is standing next to her opponent.
Caroline and I were standing by the window looking at trucks outside our house when a fly started to bother us. I walked into the kitchen to grab a towel to swat the fly when I heard a whack, followed by, “I got it.”
A doll, a book, a sword?
No people. She meant she got THE FLY.
I walked back into the room to this.
In all fairness the fly may have been a little slow due to the pest guy spraying the day before but it doesn’t dismiss the fact that my TWO YEAR OLD KILLED A FLY WITH HER HANDS!
All of the waxing and painting I make her do is finally paying off.
