Category Archives: observations

Heavy Lifting?

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While walking through Target the other day I heard an elderly woman on the phone.

“Irma. You tell them you can’t help.”

Intrigued, I quickly pulled over into mens underwear.

My cover was almost blown by Andrew’s not so quiet, “Mom, why are we here? You said we were finished getting everything.”

Shh!

“Irma, I’m telling you . No more heavy lifting.”

“Moooooooooom, what are we doing here,” whined Alex.

Does no one in this family watch CSI or NCIS? I’m trying to gather INFO here people!

Shhhhh!

But it was too late.

Irma’s elderly friend left the underwear section while glaring at the crazy woman suddenly arguing with her children.

Some people are so rude.

Primary Carnage

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Andrew went to chapel every Friday at school. One Friday he asked me to attend since chapel would be in the garden. I arrived right on time, located Andrew, and spread my blanket directly behind his class.

Chapel began with a prayer, some songs, and a little scripture reading.

The music teacher, who also doubles as the chapel teacher, began a mini sermon.

Loving God’s creatures and treating them with kindness appeared to be the main message she was trying to convey.

She supported her message by discussing ladybugs and how they are beneficial to gardens. Each of the three teachers then received a clear bucket which contained hundreds of ladybugs.

The children were ecstatic.

They clamored around the teachers trying to obtain a ladybug. Each class walked over to their specific garden and released the ladybugs. The children came back to the chapel area eagerly since they were promised another animal.

Next up, the discussion of earthworms and their valuable contributions to the garden.

Again, the teachers each received a bucket. When the buckets were opened, a few teachers gasped. With obvious displeasure their eyes pleaded with the music teacher, “Must we touch these creatures?”

Once I peeked into the bucket I was never happier to be the parent and not the teacher. The worms were enormous. Definitely larger than your average garden worm.

The idea with the earthworms was the same as the ladybugs. Release them into the garden so they will nourish the soil.

Initially, Andrew declined an earthworm but with a little coaxing from me agreed to hold one.

He giggled with delight as the earthworm moved on his hand. It was lovely to see him enjoying this experience.

Our picture perfect moment ended with a blood curdling scream from a little girl in front of us. She was distraught because someone had stepped on her worm. Other kids rose quickly to look. The quick movement resulted in additional worms being dropped and stepped on. This, in turn, lead to more upset children who also began crying.

The teachers tried to calm the students with soft and gentle voices, “Please don’t move. We’re going to release our earthworms in the garden soon.” This did little to rectify the situation.

Eventually, the teachers managed to ensure every student had a worm to release.

I was glad when chapel was finally over.

Fast forward one week to “Come Plant Your Own Plant Day” in the garden.

Andrew’s class returned to the garden for the first time since chapel. Each student held a flower or herb which they were going to plant.

As Andrew and his friends began digging, they discovered dead ladybugs everywhere. Hundreds of lifeless ladybugs lay on the ground. Apparently, releasing hundreds of ladybugs onto the same plot of soil is not the best idea.

I must say the sermon was a success. The students were quite kind and compassionate while discussing the ladybug annihilation.

Not sure if you can tell but the ladybug carnage is above. I refrained from photographing the earthworm debacle.

The Secret

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I have found the secret to weight loss.

People will be amazed with my results and will be amazed that they too can get the same results.

I lost 8 pounds this week!

First off, let me explain that I have stuck to healthy eating. Every once in awhile I might get off track but for the most part I have insured that calories in equals less than calories out. Eating bread only once a day has certainly been a catalyst for my weight loss.

In addition to the healthy eating, I have exercised 5 days a week. Sometimes each work out is only 30 minutes but it’s still something.

So there you have it. Healthy eating and exercise to lose 8 pounds in a week.

Well, I guess I should tell you one more thing that might be a tad pertinent…

….I switched scales.

But I’m sure that has nothing to do with it. I KNOW I lost 8 pounds…I’m just not ever going back to the old scale again to check.

**************************************************************************

Alright, I should tell you I did go back to the original scale. Although I really wanted to believe the second scale at the new gym, I knew it wasn’t right.  Here’s my weight loss progress: week one (-1.9 lbs.), week two (+0.4 lbs.), week three (-2.2), week four (-1.8)   = total weight loss so far 5.5 lbs.

The Gift of Mowing?

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My 9 year old mowed the lawn as a gift to me.

When he “completed” the job, I mowed the lawn again.

I received several “work coupons” for Mother’s Day. I decided to turn one in this weekend since our lawn was looking quite neglected.

As I watched him cut the grass, I realized he must have a method to his madness but it completely eluded me.

I believe the path he followed was something like this….

Next time, I should probably be more specific with my contractor.

1. Please cut all of the grass. This is not an art project.

2. The neighbors like straight property lines. They’re kind of finicky that way.

Can’t wait to see the results of my “cook a meal” coupon.

Lost Tooth

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Right before Andrew turned 6 he discovered he had a loose tooth.

He was obsessed with everyone else in his class losing their teeth. Everyday he would come home with an update and his desperation was clear.

“Nicholas has lost two teeth.”…..”Everett has a loose tooth and he already lost one.”…….. “Mavi lost a tooth last week and she’s only 5. I’m almost 6 and haven’t lost one.”

Roughly five times a day we would receive updates on his loose tooth.

“Still wiggly” ….”not out yet”……. “I can move it with my tongue”

I was ready to yank the tooth out but he refused all offers of help. Even when he stubbornly went to school with a kleenex stuck to his bleeding tooth he still refused assistance.

The morning after the kleenex incident Andrew came running downstairs. “I lost my tooth! I lost my tooth!”

Where is it?

“I don’t know?”

We searched his bed high and low and never discovered the tooth. We determined he must have swallowed it while sleeping. When told the tooth was gone, a look of horror came over Andrew’s face. You could see the wheels turning in his head, “I have waited almost 6 years to lose a tooth, earn some cash, and now I’ve lost it all.”

So…he wrote a note, with some help, to the tooth fairy. He put it under his pillow and prayed for her sympathy.

Turns out the tooth fairy provides generously despite the lack of a tooth. He found $2 and a new book under his pillow the next morning.

Stretching It

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As I sit here writing this post there’s a good chance I won’t be able to get out of my chair when I’m done. You see, I tried a new exercise class today.

The new class I took today was completely different from my typical exercise routine. And when I say completely different, I mean COMPLETELY different.

For me, exercise has always been something that is fast, involves sweating, and has a time component.

My friend Liza invited me to her Yin Yoga class in the Mind Body Studio.

Just the words, “Mind Body Studio,” make my eyes roll.

But I tried to be open about the entire thing. After all, anything to help me get to my goal is worth a try.

Liza teaches the class so she gave me a synopsis of it. “The concept is to stretch your connective tissue by holding stretches for 4 minutes. In turn, the connective tissue responds by growing back longer and juicier giving more fluidity in the joints, more range of motion, more comfort in your body, and less injuries.”

Um, that’s nice but where is the part that says I will be able to fit into my shorts by June?

She also mentioned, “No experience is necessary. It has an awesome benefit of really grounding you and melting stress.”

Grounding me? I don’t know about this. It’s already sounding a little hare krishna-ish to me.

I did an initial walk by of the studio, casually strolling by and trying to peek into the room without being obvious. (Don’t judge, you know you case out new joints too). The lights were off and I could see three people sitting on the ground.

The second trip by I took a deep breath and opened the door. I made a deal with myself though. If there was any humming or chanting I could be out of there before you can say, “Dalai Lama.”

The studio was dark except for a closet light. I quickly found a space towards the back of the room and gathered the necessary equipment. I had 2 mats, a foam roller, and 2 blocks of foam. I was just sure Liza would distribute the stop watches when she arrived.

Class started by Liza guiding us into a stretch which had the lower half of my legs lying on the floor while I held the rest of my body up on the foam blocks.  Initially, I felt awkward and out of place. A few moves later though and I was feeling fairly confident I would be able to finish the class.

I was holding my own and quite proud of myself when I noticed Elastigirl. She was practically performing a Cirque de Soleil number next to me as I was struggling to touch my toes. Liza noticed Elastigirl too and gave her more challenging stretches that would have put me in traction.

Throughout the class, Liza would direct us to, “appreciate your body.” Holding a stretch for four minutes certainly gave me enough time to be thankful for my strength.

As I was holding one of my stretches I noticed I was the only one not wearing spandex. I don’t know about you but if I’m supposed to be appreciating my body I certainly don’t think being in a jump suit of spandex and standing in front of a 4 way mirror is the way to do it. My baggy shorts and t-shirt let me appreciate my body just fine.

As the class came to a close, Liza asked everyone to lay on the ground, close their eyes, and breath for five minutes. “Connect with your body.”

I kept my eyes closed for approximately 20 seconds because frankly I had been connecting with my body for the last seventy minutes and really wanted something to eat. As I peeked around the room the other class participants somehow managed to keep their eyes closed.

All in all, the class was a good experience for me. I tried something new and was pretty successful. I think I may go again next week….that is if I can get out of my chair.

14

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14 years ago today I said, “I do.”

I was pretty naive at 23 and thought I got a wonderful husband on that rainy May day.

What I didn’t realize is how much more I got.

I got someone willing to hold me when I cry.

I got someone who gets my humor (even if it’s the same joke ten years later).

I got someone who will stand by my side.

I got someone who always does the right thing (sometimes a little difficult for this pedal to the metal gal).

I got someone who challenges me in the pool and out.

I got someone who can take my vision and turn it into reality.

I got someone is who my computer genius (who stays remarkably calm when telling me “it’s control z” for the tenth time).

I got someone who loves me in the morning and at night.

I got someone who is an amazing father.

I got my best friend.

Thank you for helping me create our family.

Derek, I love you forever and ever…no matter what!

Not Your Typical Party

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I have been to a few home parties in my time – scrapbook parties, stamp parties, and candle parties to name a few. But never a Pure Romance party.

Where should I find out about this party you ask? Why naturally at Caroline’s preschool!

The school has a circle drive for drop offs and pick ups as well as a larger parking lot. One day as I was walking from the larger parking lot to the school’s entrance, I noticed a truck parked immediately in front of the preschool door.

It was a simple brown truck but the sign on it is what grabbed my attention.

Pure Romance Party: Not Your Typical Party – Call Meme for details

Hmmm. Who is Meme and what’s this party all about?

Well, I met Meme.

Okay, I didn’t actually meet her. I stalked her.

Just as I noticed the sign on the door, a couple got out of the truck.

I slowed my pace down in order to get a good look at them. They both appeared to be around 50 years old and didn’t stand out one way or another. The gentleman was balding while the woman wore sensible shoes.

I followed them into the preschool where they just happened to go down the same hallway I needed to go down. They stopped at the 2 year old classroom, greeted the teacher, and asked for a boy. That’s pretty much all I got. I had to move on or it would have been obvious I am made of stalker material.

I continued on to pick up Caroline but I have so many lingering questions:

1. How do you get into that party business? “Hey Herb, I think we could spice things up. How ’bout I become a romance party planner?”

2. Do all the guests know what you purchase at the party?

3. Are there product demonstrations? Is the hostess required to have a fruit bowl lying around? (okay that one was unnecessary…but kind of implied don’t you think?)

Thoughts? Questions? Ever Been to this Type of Party?

Glamor-not!

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What are three words that describe being a mommy you ask?

Glamor, glamor, glamor.

Let me share with you a rather glamorous night at our house.

The day started rather uneventfully, just a typically school day. Everyone came home from school, had a snack, started homework, and played.

For snack, Andrew had fruit and fruit juice. He had been complaining of stomach pains due to constipation for about two days so he was on an all fruit and fiber diet. Caroline, on the other hand, had the opposite problem. She was on antibiotics for an ear infection so she had the runs.

Remember, all glamor at our house.

We met Derek at lacrosse practice where he handed me a jar of milk of magnesium.  Andrew, Caroline, and I headed home to start dinner. Grilled cheese, tomato soup, and pickles were on the menu. Fruit and yogurt for Andrew.

Once we got home, I encouraged Andrew as he drank small amount of the medicine. Every few minutes he would take a tiny sip followed quickly by some fruit juice. About thirty minutes later he really started complaining about stomach pains. I encouraged him to sit on the toilet and just “try and go.” Sitting on the bathroom floor holding his hand, I made pushing faces and sounds with him. Well, a few minutes of this, and he became hysterical. Any time he felt some pain, he would have this look of terror on his face and start screaming. I felt like an FBI negotiator trying to talk him down – “Andrew, you can do this. It’s going to hurt for a moment but you will feel much better once you go.”

After several unsuccessful tries, Andrew determined he needed to play with some Legos and wait. I changed Caroline’s runny diaper and decided to call the pediatrician’s after hours service. Maybe they would have an idea. I felt so bad for the little guy since he was in such pain. The after hours service picked up quickly but I only got a receptionist. I left  information giving the reason for the call and waited for a nurse to call back.

In the meantime, I managed to start the tomato soup and started putting together the grilled cheese sandwiches. I got out some plates, started filling cups with water, and managed to start unloading the dishwasher.

As I was putting silverware away, I was startled by Andrew. Running and screaming he made a beeline for the bathroom. I quickly followed but was met by a closed door. I heard a load scream and then nothing for about 3 seconds. All of a sudden there was yelling and singing, “I went poopy! Yeah! I did it!” I, in turn, started dancing and singing, “He went poopy! Yeah!” Once I was allowed in, the relief on Andrew’s face was clear.

For me the relief only lasted a minute when I turned around and realized Caroline had pulled down her pants and was pulling at the tabs of her diaper. Thankfully she only undid one side before I got to her. Of course, she was messy again so I went to change her.

The phone started ringing just as I finished changing Caroline so I ran to get it. The nurse was calling back to find out about our problem. I quickly explained that the situation had been resolved and we were doing the “poopy dance.” Strangely enough, the nurse seemed quite familiar with the “poopy dance” and didn’t need much of an explanation.

Feelings of happiness and joy were plentiful until I noticed a funny smell. I ran to the kitchen where I discovered the tomato soup had burned.

I quickly grabbed another pot, another can of soup, and remade it.  Thankfully, this time I didn’t burn it. I did burn one of the grilled cheese sandwiches but I’m sure that’s the way Derek likes them anyway.

Much later that night, I was awakened by Alex.

“Mom, I threw up.”

Sitting up in bed, “Are you okay? Is it all over you?”

“No, it’s not on me.”

“Good. Let’s get you some water.”

“I made sure to throw up on the ground.”

“On the new &^%$#@ carpet!!!!!!” I think to myself.

But I say, “It’s okay. We’ll clean it up.”

So… like I said…being a mom is full of glamor.

Constipation, diarrhea, and vomit…those are definitely glamorous in my book:)