Mother Effing Pain

Last week I had electrolysis.

Let that sink in.

On my bikini line.

Let that sink in.

The woman doing the procedure described it as “pin pricking.”

I would describe it as “Mother Effing Pain.”

Let me describe the stages of electrolysis on your bikini line.

Stage 1 – I am completely humiliated because while I am laying down on the table my pants are down at my knees and a woman is “checking me out.”

Now, I am no Sasquatch but you know, a girl can get a little self conscious when someone is checking you out down there with a magnifying glass.

Stage 2 – The first needle incision – Sharp but completely bearable.

Stage 3 – About 10 minutes into the procedure your leg starts flailing uncontrollably. You say, “Sorry,” about 20 times although you are secretly hoping you actually kick the technician in the head and knock her out so you can stop this and claim, “I didn’t want to stop but I had to because she couldn’t go on.”

Stage 4 – About 25 minutes in the procedure you think, “I. Can’t. Take. One. More. Minute. Of. This.”

Stage 5 – About 35 minutes into the procedure you think, “I’m fine, I got this.” Then your leg kicks out again and you think maybe not.

Stage 6 – Finally, she’s done. 45 minutes of mother effing pain. You hand her money and you walk out thinking, “I can conquer the world now. I’ll take you down. I am hairless. I am streamlined. Here me roar!”

Recipe Ideas

You would think eating out for an entire week would get old.

But, guess what?

It wasn’t! It was great.

As an added bonus there are no dishes to clean! Double great.

But…it is expensive so alas once the refrigerator was fixed we were back to cooking at home

Since being away from the kitchen has not awakened my creative side in the kitchen I had to go looking for ideas. I found many recipes I’m hoping to try. Here’s just a sampling.

Easy Sesame Chicken from Yummy. Healthy. Easy

Sesame Chicken1

Bacon Cheddar Jalapeno Chicken Roll-Ups from The Lazy Susan


Sweet Lump Crab Cakes from Memories by the Mile


Baked BBQ Pulled Pork Taquitos with Avocado Sauce from Rindy Mae


Crockpot Chicken Tortilla Soup from A Bushel “n” a Peck


I know.

I’m hungry too.

Maybe I’ll go cook something.

5th Graders & the Stupid Deli

I tutor math 3 days a week for 3 hours a day in an elementary school.

3rd, 4th, and 5th graders – you really should try it some time.

The other day I was talking to the big wig know-it-alls on my campus, the 5th graders.

Being the oldest on campus, they think they know it all.

We were discussing fractions and decimals and how they are used in the real world – money, cooking, measurement, sharing, medication doses, and building materials, just to name a few.

Those examples didn’t sway them into thinking fractions were relevant so I said, “Let’s pretend you are at Walmart at the deli counter. You ask for a half a pound of ham. The worker slices the ham and puts it on the scale. The scale says .12 – Did you get enough ham?”


“Why you go to the deli for your ham? There’s packs already cut up on the wall. Just grab one of those packs. You don’t have to wait in line for no measuring. Who goes to the deli? Not me.”


“Did you get enough ham?”

“Do you think Beyonce buys her meat at the deli?”

“Yes. Yes I do. If you asked for a half a pound of ham is that equal to .12?”


I don’t know if they keep me young or make me age faster.

Either way, I feel pretty lucky that I get to hang out with those big wigs.

From Birthday to Easter Decorations – Easy & Lazy

Caroline’s birthday party was over 3 weeks ago – so naturally the decorations are still up.

Since I liked all the bright colors I figured I could keep them all up  for Easter (and the rest spring) by just tweaking a few things.

From the party, I kept the tie banner & just changed out the inside of the frames…




 Our front door was…



but is now…





*an old frame, string, glue gun, and paper

And finally, the fireplace was…


and is now…


*the pink paper in the frames was shiny wrapping paper my sister wrapped Caroline’s presents in

*the “Pow, Kaboom, Bam” banner is just turned around

*the chalkboard has been wiped off and colored by the kids and I

Easter / Spring decorating done –

And as an added bonus, I’m sure Alex will appreciate the house being already decorated for his 11th birthday which is in a few weeks 🙂

Spring Clothes…Not So Fast

I just spent the last hour looking online for some new capri pants and shorts.

I think I want to shoot myself.

Or maybe it’s everyone who writes on the clothing reviews that I want to hurt…

“I ordered a size 2 but it was so baggy I just had to send it back”


“I’m 5’10” 120 lbs and wear a size 4″


…”I thought this would be great to wear but it makes me look huge, even the XS was big.”

And don’t even get me started if I read about one more damn pair of skinny jeans.


Think I’m going to start looking at dresses and skirts now.



Just Wrong in Gymboree

Yesterday I was in Gymboree browsing through items near the cash register when I overheard the following conversation between two women.


“Oh, I see you finally got your little boy.”

“Yes, I am so excited to have him. After two girls this was a wonderful surprise.”

“I just had my son three months ago and I was so glad he was a boy.”

“I know what you mean. Girls can be so difficult. I was hoping and hoping this baby would be a boy. I didn’t want another girl. “

This woman’s two girls, about 4 and 7, were standing right next to her listening to this.

I wanted to walk over there, scream at that woman, and take her daughters with me.

Do not do that to them. Be thankful for them and let them hear that.

I’m wishing her a lifetime of “easy” with her little boy.

Cardboard Boxes – So Much Fun!

The last time I talked about Caroline’s super hero party it was concerning the scavenger hunt, bean bag toss, and the chest letters they received.

Today it’s, “Exploring the City!”

When I looked on pinterest for Caroline’s super hero party I came across party decor which had buildings with it. I thought, wouldn’t it be fun for the girls to be able to play in the buildings?


Otherwise known as, “Cardboard Boxes are so Much Fun!”

One of the missions the kids had to complete was, “Explore the City.” This simply meant, bring out some cardboard boxes and let the kids have fun.


A week before the party, the kids and I drove around gathering big boxes that had been discarded in the new subdivision they are building near us.

We then set up a painting station on our driveway and got to work painting the boxes.

I used regular house paint that we already had so the cost for this project was $0.  


Caroline wore her painting outfit – yellow pants, old white shirt, and a pair of the boys’ old water shoes – always looks like she’s a retired Floridean 🙂



Everyone got in on the action.



Once the boxes were dry, my husband cut out doors and windows in each box.

And here are the final results –

Every Super Hero town needs a City Hall…


the Movies…


A Jail to put the bad guys…


And the library!



The cardboard boxes stayed in our house another week before they were completely destroyed.

Good fun!

A Few Good Books

Winter is always a good time to hop in bed, snuggle in with the comforter, and read a good book. I’ve read a few books recently that I thought you might be interested in.

The Sisters: A Novel – Nancy Jensen

5 stars

The Sisters

From Amazon: Growing up in hardscrabble Kentucky in the 1920s, with their mother dead and their stepfather an ever-present threat, Bertie Fischer and her older sister Mabel have no one but each other—with perhaps a sweetheart for Bertie waiting in the wings. But on the day that Bertie receives her eighth-grade diploma, good intentions go terribly wrong. A choice made in desperate haste sets off a chain of misunderstandings that will divide the sisters and reverberate through three generations of women. What happens when nothing turns out as you planned? From the Depression through World War II and Vietnam, and smaller events both tragic and joyful, Bertie and Mabel forge unexpected identities that are shaped by unspeakable secrets. As the sisters have daughters and granddaughters of their own, they discover that both love and betrayal are even more complicated than they seem. Gorgeously written, with extraordinary insight and emotional truth, Nancy Jensen’s powerful debut novel illuminates the far-reaching power of family and family secrets.

I stayed up late reading this book and it was definitely well worth. Mabel and Bertie were close sisters until one fateful day which instantly changed their lives.Misunderstandings and missed opportunities led to them to search and wonder about each other for the rest of their lives. This novel follows the women and their families and brings you into their world, silently cheering them on as you read.


 The Sisters from Hardscarbble Bay by Beverly Jensen

  3.5 stars

7662575From Book List: Jensen’s tale of two sisters begins in New Brunswick. When their mother dies, Idella and Avis are left in the care of their father, who is overwhelmed by the tasks of raising a household of several young children and eking out a meager living on a potato farm. The book—a series of interconnected stories, really—follows Idella and Avis as they grow up and move to America. Idella ends up in Maine with a wandering husband and a frightful mother-in-law. Avis, the wilder one, lives in Boston and goes through what she describes as “a shitload of men.” The book encompasses more than 70 years, and the early chapters, especially the one in which a French Canadian girl named Maddie comes to help out on the farm, are the strongest. If the later sections read more like family memoir being forced into a fictional shape, they are nevertheless notable for vivid writing and strong characterizations. Jensen died before seeing any of her work published; this is a fine tribute. –Mary Ellen Quinn

This book covers more than 70 years of Idella and Avis’s lives and while the girls stick together through life, life isn’t always very kind to them. The first half of the book is much better than the second half though I kept reading because I wanted to see where the girls would end up in life. It’s definitely a good book and worth a read.

Joy for Beginners bu Erica Baeurmeister

4 stars


From Amazon: Having survived a life-threatening illness, Kate celebrates by gathering with six close friends. At an intimate outdoor dinner on a warm September evening, the women challenge Kate to start her new lease on life by going white-water rafting down the Grand Canyon with her daughter. But Kate is reluctant to take the risk. That is, until her friend Marion proposes a pact: if Kate will face the rapids, each woman will do one thing in the next year that scares her. Kate agrees, with one provision – she didn’t get to choose her challenge, so she gets to choose theirs. Whether it’s learning to let go of the past or getting a tattoo, each woman’s story interweaves with the others, forming a seamless portrait of the power of female friendships. From the author of The School of Essential Ingredients comes a beautifully crafted novel about daring to experience true joy, starting one small step at a time.

The idea behind this short book intrigued me, do one task that scares you and it could change your life. When you read the tasks each woman is assigned, you think it would be no big deal to complete them. But what you learn through the course of the book is how profound these small tasks are for each woman and what they really entail.

Calling Me Home by Julie Kibler

5 stars


From Amazon: Eighty-nine-year-old Isabelle McAllister has a favor to ask her hairdresser Dorrie Curtis. It’s a big one. Isabelle wants Dorrie, a black single mom in her thirties, to drop everything to drive her from her home in Arlington, Texas, to a funeral in Cincinnati. With no clear explanation why. Tomorrow. Dorrie, fleeing problems of her own and curious whether she can unlock the secrets of Isabelle’s guarded past, scarcely hesitates before agreeing, not knowing it will be a journey that changes both their lives.

This book was a last minute selection at the library and I’m so glad I grabbed it. This story really and truly breaks your heart for Ms Isabelle. She’s a feisty and independent ninety year old who needs help completing one last task in life. In fact, her character reminds me a lot of the old woman in the movie Driving Miss Daisy. This is Kibler’s debut novel and I hope the first of many more heart grabbing novels.

Any book suggestions for me?

A Little Warm Around Here

You know you are in trouble when you go to get out the milk from the fridge in the morning and your foot sloshes around a lot of water on the ground.

Yesterday morning our refrigerator & freezer both died.

So out went the eggs, out went the milk, out went the cheese and meats.

Until the repair man can get here on Thursday we are using this…


Yep, our cooler we use for parties is now keeping some of our food cool.


And just for the record, once I saw these pictures the yogurt got tossed as well.


Last week, always looking for a good deal , I picked up 5 packages of butter that were at an unbelievable price. Seems like a really dumb idea now.


Looking on the bright side of this – we got to eat out last night!

Daylight Savings Time – Me No Likey

I dislike daylight savings time.

Truly, truly dislike it.

At about 4:00 pm yesterday things were difficult around here.

There was tons of whining, lots of dragging, and plenty of annoying moments.

And that was just from my husband and me.

And yet there were cries of disbelief when bedtime was announced,  “But it’s light out. We never go to bed when it’s light outside!”

So I would like to propose we get rid of Daylight Savings time.

Who wants to have it get darker later? Certainly no parent I know.

At least let’s get rid of the “springing forward” part.

I’m all in favor of just falling back every couple of years.

Or you know what would be better?

Let’s just add an extra day in – let’s do March 9th twice every year!

That way we can sleep in, have a lazy day, and still not miss a day of work.

So who’s with me? Let’s get rid of “springing forward” and just have March 9th twice!

DST Clock wMultipleHands