I’m Pretty Cool to a 1st Grader

As part of a writing assignment, my first grader needed to come up with 5 adjectives to describe me.

I’m going to admit, I was a tad nervous while he was writing and chuckling to himself.

But in the end I was the one chuckling to myself when I read through the list.

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Epic.

It’s a 1st grade thing.

And just to clarify…it means I’m super cool.

431 = 8?

Just in case you thought I had it all together…

I present to you my son’s birthday cake…

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And no, he’s not the world’s oldest person…

just completely forgot about candles until it was time to light them.

42 Pains in the Arse

I’ve mentioned a few times about a project my husband and I were working on, one that nearly drove us over the edge.

This was the sneak peak.

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Now here’s the story.

My daughter’s preschool had a school auction to raise money for an outdoor cover on the playground so I decided to donate a gift certificate to my etsy shop.

I tried to think of a way to make an eye catching display and settled on a picture frame with chicken wire.

I found a large detailed frame, spray painted it black, and had my  husband add chicken wire to the back. I then spray painted some clothespins and hung up information about my  shop.

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It looked something like this (I, of course, forgot to take pictures of the actual frame):

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I also had a book of products with the frame:

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After dropping off my donation, which I valued at just under $7,000 (or slightly less), I received an email from the school director asking if I could make 40 of the chicken wire frames for her staff for their end of the year gift.

“Jackpot!”

“Yippe!”

“Who needs Powerball?!”

We do, that’s who.

My husband and I jumped at the opportunity to make a little cash. Boy were we fools.

After saying “yes,” to the job, I scowered area Goodwill, thrift store, resale shop, and garage sale for about 3 weeks. I’m fairly sure there are no more 8 x 10 inch frames left in the DFW area.

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After sanding down and spray painting about 9 of the frames, we decided to add the chicken wire. That’s where we ran into TROUBLE.

Out of the 9 frames, only 2 didn’t break.

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At this point, we were a week out from the delivery date and freaking out a bit.

We were using a hand stapler and it just was not working.

050800 So I decided to buy an automatic staple gun from Home Depot for $59 and hope that would help.

Thankfully, it worked (most of the time) and we were back on track.

Each frame also had glued on ribbon on the back so that the chicken wire scratch anyone.

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Texas received quite a bit of rain during this time which under different circumstances would have been wonderful, though when you are trying to spray paint 40 frames, it really is awful.

Mix that with room mom meetings, field days at two schools, and a soccer tournament weekend and we were sprinting to get the frames completed.

A lot of the spray painting occurred in our garage (with the door up) but we are fairly sure we were high for two thirds of this project. Complex math was not our friend at this time.

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In the end we finished on time (even providing an extra 2 frames, hence the 42 pains in the arse title), although I was drying clothespins with a hair dryer 30 minutes before the drop off.

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Turned in, done!

A little money was made and a lot of learning too.

You would think I’m done with renovating frames but I’ve actually got some bigger frames just waiting in my garage. I’m going to start spray painting those soon.

Maybe next week.

On second thought, maybe next month.

I’m Back & Thankful

Well, I didn’t plan on  being away from here for a week but that’s just how things turned out.

My husband and I were furiously finishing a project I had said yes to (more tomorrow) and only finished about  30 minutes before the completed products were due. Nothing like cutting it close here 🙂

A week ago the awful tornado in Moore, Oklahoma struck and killed so many.

The following day, the meterologists were telling us to expect huge storms with tornadoes a real possibility. Needless to say, everyone around here was on edge.

Before school, the kids and I brought a mattress downstairs and placed it by the tub. We then practiced getting into the bathtub and placing the mattress on top of us. It wasn’t exact but we did the best we could.

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We also gathered bike helmets, important papers, a first aid kit, and a pair of shoes for everyone. We always have our bike helmets handy when it’s tornado time, in case things start to fall on us. It’s probably silly to have them but it always makes me feel better knowing they are around.

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Around 1 pm things started to get rainy. At 2 pm Caroline and I headed over to the elementary school because the wind was picking up and really raining. Apparently, every  other parent had the same idea since it took me until 2:30 to get the boys. By this point it looked like a hurricane outside and my middle one started to cry. He was saying, “The tornado is going to get us.”

In our run from the school to the car we got soaked so everyone changed clothes once we got home. We turned on the tv and ate ice cream. Hey, it seemed incredibly reasonable to me, if the power goes out, the ice cream will go bad. Hence, we must eat the ice cream. After all, no one was in the mood for a frozen tuna patty so we went with next best thing.

I sent the kids to play while I continued to watch the weather reports on tv. All regular programming was ignored for constant weather reporting which just added to my nervousness.

Thankfully, there is no big ending to this story. The weather passed us by 4:30 pm, my husband came home at 5:30 to ask if it had even rained at the house. I will disclose here that I was ready to slug him at that point as my nerves were just about shot. We had frozen pizza for dinner, again ignoring the frozen tuna for something better, and continued on as normal.

Everything was normal except for the fact that my  four year old whining,”I wanted the tornado to come,” and I was busy pricing portable storm shelters online.

Minute to Win It Night

For the last 4 years, my family has all gathered for a week in Florida.

Since we are all spread out – Texas, Michigan, Illinois, Louisiana, Kentucky, and Canada – it’s a wonderful time for us to come together and have fun.

Last year we started, what my boys hope, is a new tradition – Minute to Win It Night.

The boys loved watching Minute to Win It on tv so I thought it would be perfect for them to set up a night where everyone plays the games.

The boys spent a week of their summer, making posters, choosing teams (red team vs blue team), watching video clips, choosing the games, gathering supplies, and emailing everyone.

Take a look at how our Minute to Win It Night went.

Getting Forked – roll a quarter into the prongs of a fork – good game

Ready Spaghetti place spaghetti noodles through a soda can, carry the can from one table to another table while holding the spaghetti noodles in your mouth – okay game

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 Breakfast Scramble – Take the front covers of cereal boxes, cut each box into 16 pieces, and then race to see who can complete their puzzle first – good game

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Hut, Hut, Hike! – Bend over and hike toilet paper rolls between your legs and through a person’s arms 15 feet away – Hilarious game

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Marshmallow Match – Throw mini marshmallows into a bucket that is on top of a player’s head – good game

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Rapid Fire – Player must shoot rubber bands to knock a triangle stack of 6 cans completely off a platform – good game

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I’m pretty sure good times were had by all.

To me, the best part of the night is it involves everyone in the family, kids, adults, and grandparents. Truly lots of fun.

And family, you better start training for this year – word on the street this year is that there are new games a comin’!

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We’re busy around here working on something that I am now regretting saying yes to…

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Will share next week, if this doesn’t kill us.

Apples

Awhile back we were on an organic kick so I bought some organic apples for my family.

I bought 16 apples.

The cost?

$26.00!

Yep. You read that right. $26.00 for 16 apples.

I actually didn’t realize that was the cost until I got home and looked at the receipt.

Waaaaaaaay too much money for apples. Did you hear me? Waaaaayyyy too much money for apples!

After  dropping off the groceries and kids, I headed out to run another errand.

When I returned and walked through our front door I heard my family in the kitchen and a loud reving noise.

I instantly recognized the sound and ran into the kitchen but it was too late.

The organic apples had been juiced!

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$26.00 of apple juice.

How you like them apples?

(And no, they don’t drink the juice with my husband, they  just like to witness the destruction of fruits and vegetables)

I’ve Had Enough

I spent my Mother’s Day weekend at a soccer tournament for my  oldest.

A perfectly good way to spend a weekend in my opinion.

What is not a good way to spend a weekend is to listen to j*ack*ss parents scream and yell at my son and his team.

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Are these opposing parents yelling?

No. They are my son’s teammates parents.

Well, I finally reached my breaking point on Saturday. And before I tell you what led to making a public statement I will say this. This screaming and yelling at the kids has been going on for two years.

For two years the kids and parents have listened to the one particular parent I confronted shout:

“Hussle Malcolm. You got to go faster out there.”

“You need better defense out there. George you are too slow today.”

“Oh come on, you gotta play better than that. You need to hussle Jacob!”

“Cross to the left! Move up! You must be kidding me, this is ridiculous.”

“You got to put out some effort out there!”

Every game, parents look back and forth at each other, and mumble to each other about what nonsense this is.

For two years.

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I’m as guilty as the next parent in hoping that this moron would change his behavior. Even talks from the coach have been ignored by this man.

And what position does this man’s child play?

Goalie.

Never once has his child heard, “Come on James, you could have saved that ball!” “Unbelievable, you let that ball past you.” “Maybe if you would have hussled out there you  could have gotten the ball.”

Never. Not once. But our kids have heard plenty.

So in the second half of the second game on Saturday I snapped.

I just couldn’t take it any  longer.

After he shouted something obnoxious again, I turned to him and said, “You  do realize those are our kids out there. They are doing the best they can and I’m tired of listening to your crap.”

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For a split second I questioned what I had just done.

But then another parent said, “Yes, we are tired of it.  Tired of it.”

I didn’t even look at the man for the rest of the game. I was shaking on the inside and ready to blow up at him  at any moment  if he said anything.

He said nothing.

And for the next game he sat  far away.

But he said nothing.

I hope it made an impression on him.

I know it made an impression on my eight year who was sitting with me. I explained to him that while I was angry at the man, I was not angry at his son.  I explained that I did not insult the man nor his family, just stated how I felt.

My message to this man and other parents who yell at our kids during a game:

Our children were not competing in the world cup, a championship game, or a game that was really that important. My son was out playing soccer because he loves it and has fun. Be positive and shout encouraging words. Let the coach, coach.

And, if you start yelling at our kids again, I’m pretty sure I won’t be the only one shaming you this time.

What’s Your Scent?

I need a scent.

Usually I emit chocolate and dry erase marker but I’m starting to feel that I need something more substantial.

I often pass women who I think smell good but I am not one to stop them and ask what perfume they are wearing.

And then I pass women who have poured the bottle on them and think maybe I could do without.

The problem is that the few times that I have looked for a scent I always walk away discouraged. I don’t like flowery, I don’t like strong, I don’t spicy, and I don’t like woodsy.

I like light, fresh, vanilla, and citrus.

Maybe I should just skip the perfume and rub a vanilla cupcake with citrus frosting on my  body and call it a day.

But then I came across this Ladies Home Journal online quiz, “What’s Your Signature Scent?” and thought maybe this could help me.

The quiz is a simple 10 question quiz that delves into your favorite type of movie, what you find romantic, and what you like to eat.

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Maybe not too scientific but at this point I am ready to try anything.

I answered all 10 questions and found out I am considered a natural woman.

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I didn’t think the description was dead on and plus, I shave my arm pits, something that I believe excludes me from the natural woman category all together.

So I changed up my  answers to a few of the questions.

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Again, not quite the way I would describe myself but I decided to explore the perfumes they had recommended for me.

I started with Escada Island Kiss….

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Beautiful  bottle, let’s read the description…

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Hmm, I was with them until they  got to “a hint of musk.”

What is musk?

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What the F ?

Just because I checked that I like to eat meatball sandwiches and wear lip balm suddenly means I want to smell like a deer?

I don’t even want to smell like “just a hint of musk.”

I went on to read the descriptions of the other perfumes and think I have found the one I am most interested in.

The  L de Lolita Lempicka Eau de Parfum Spray is currently sitting in my amazon shopping cart but first I’m going to through it out to you my friends.

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Anyone have a favorite perfume they would like to recommend?

(Go take the quiz to find out what your scent is?)