Shameless

I was a shameless mother to Caroline.

But in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you this.

After consuming a dinner of milk, orange slices, and cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster last Friday night, Caroline proceeded to vomit her entire stomach contents on the restaurant floor.

It was a lot. I’m talking change of shoes and clothing bad.

I’m pretty sure I will never eat another cheddar biscuit for as long as I live.

Oh, and it was our first and only trip to Red Lobster.

The following day Caroline and I ended up in the children’s book section of Borders while the boys finished up in a movie. One hour into the movie and she was done so we went for a walk.

Caroline and I were standing side by side browsing the movie section when I let quite a foul smelling gas escape. It was silent. I do have some pride.

At the moment of release, a woman stopped directly behind us to examine a book.

I’m not proud of what I did next.

I bent down and said, “Caroline, do we need to change your diaper?”

Yes.    I     Did.      I blamed her for the smell.

Let me just remind you about REGURGITATED CHEDDAR BISCUITS ON THE FLOOR!

A little tit for tat.

I am pitiful and shameless.

And smelly.