Dear Costco

Dear Mr. Costco,

My family loves visiting your store and sampling all those goodies your A1 hairnet troops are providing.

In fact, my husband loves it so much he needs a stern talking to before his trips there with our children.

We don’t need a six month supply of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Or the 7,000 Oreos (yes, it’s because I have no will power).

And for the love of God, just walk away from the 285 links of sausage.

The kids love the store too.

I’ve never seen people so excited to have free food – I’m talking hitting all nine food booths in record time while, of course, bypassing booth ten, the new fruit and veggie juice.

Yes, everyone loves your store sir.

But can I tell you want I don’t like about your store? Actually, I’m about to speak for all mothers out there. Yes, all mothers hate this Costco, so listen up!

Nothing gets on my/our nerves more than when I’m trying to leave your store and I must wait an eternity for your employee to draw a smiley face onto the back of my receipt.

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I mean really. Why? Why? Why?

Why must every exiting door employee take the time to do this when it’s probably obvious that we just really need to leave the store.

Is it in the training program?

Lesson 1 – MUST. STOP. EVERY. HAGGARD. LOOKING. MOTHER. AND. DETAIN. HER. FURTHER….

Lesson 2 -IF HER.KIDS. LOOK. LIKE. THEY. ARE. LOSING. THEIR. MIND. ENGAGE THEM IN CONVERSATION.

Is there a bonus involved with the number of smiley faces given out.

Just let me leave!!!!!

And really, it’s just not me. Guess who also doesn’t care about the smiley face and just wants to get home and rip open the bag with 5000 popcorn pieces?

My children.

After Picasso has finished drawing his neon smiley he slows the exiting process down even further by insisting to show one of the kids. When kid #1 has shown no excitement over the preschool drawing they move to kid #2 who’s response is just as lack lustered as the first.

So Mr. Costco, please change your policy. It should read, “As an employee it is your job to help the mothers out of the store as quickly as possible. If you don’t, there will inevitably be a meltdown and it’s anyone’s guess whether it will be the children or the mom who ends up crying. And if it’s the mom, you are on your own.”

Your loyal shopper,Jennifer

P.S. If you could have those toffee covered chocolates out for sampling next week I would really appreciate that.

A Weekend Project

Why do weekend projects always end up taking until the following Thursday to complete?

Maybe it’s just us but we can never seem to complete a project in the estimated time.

Our family began collecting magnets several years ago as a keepsake from the all the places we visited.

After putting on the most recent magnets from Rome, London, and Berlin our collection looked like this…

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IMG_2148A big jumble of not cuteness.

It hasn’t been displayed in our new house (which we’ve been in for 3 years) so the mess was never really a problem before.

That is, until I decided that WE. MUST. COMPLETE. a weekend project and so… a new magnet board it was!

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I took a 36 x 24 inch picture I bought at Goodwill for $5 and popped out the picture.

Next we bought a sheet of metal ($20) at Home Depot and my husband cut it down to size.

He then nailed the metal into place.

And voila! 6 days later our weekend project was complete!

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Looks like we are going to have to travel a lot more to fill this up.

Actually, I’ve got a list going of the places I, We, Us, and/or &  Them have gone but forgotten to buy magnets for: Fayetteville, AR, Seattle, WA, Calloway Gardens in Georgia, Ann Arbor, MI, Gulf Shores, AL, New Mexico, Virginia, and many more.

But here’s a few of what  we do have:

Las Vegas, Fort Worth, Chicago, New Orleans

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Louisville, Graceland, Scotland, the USS Alabama

IMG_2187Mammoth Caves, Toronto, San Francisco, Water Color, FL

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Here’s the before (the picture just got moved to the dining room)

IMG_2141And the after:

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Can’t wait to figure out our next 6 day project!

 

And then…

And then there was the time the Dillard’s sales lady laughed at my bra size.

Yes. Yes she did.

Huge boost to the self esteem.

Let me back up.

Since my bra supply was depleted I went in search of a few more.

I was strolling through the intimate apparel section in Dillard’s picking up pieces that I wanted to try on when a little old Asian sales woman came up to me.

“Do you need help?”

“Yes, I was looking for a bra that you can turn into a racerback.”

Blank face.

“I need a bra that can change from regular straps to racerback in the back.”

Blank face.

This time motioning with my hands, “I need a bra that can be both regular straps and have a criss cross in the back.”

“Ahhh, follow me……What size you need?

“22W.”

calvin-klein-perfectly-fit-racerback-bra-f2564-nude_1Since I have not posed for Mr. Hefner or suffer from severe back problems, I obviously don’t have a 22W bra size but let’s just use it so my pride doesn’t any suffer more.

Practically shrieking so the whole department can hear her, “22W! Hahahahahahaha. Those bras don’t come in that size. You have to go up to 22Y. Hahahahahahahahahaha.”

22W she heard. Racerback, not so much.

Ha ha ha said no one but the little old Asian lady who, might I add, is even more streamlined than me.

I ended up not buying anything. You know, bad feelings and all.

Probably going to go out again and test the waters at a different store.

This time I’m going to go in with a sign on my chest, “Back off people, I’ve kept 3 children alive with these breasts. They may be smaller than when those kids got to them but they are still standing up nice. Oh wait, did I step on your huge sagging breast. Pardon me. Did I say that loud? Hahahahahahaha.”

The Weather

I just love when the weather man says,

“Looks like that cold front is coming in tomorrow night so it is going to be great for outdoor activities. Going to feel much cooler out there. Get out and enjoy the weather.”

Sounds wonderful until you look at the actual forecast…

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While it is way cooler than the 106 of last week, I was still hoping to see an 80 in the forecast.

Oh well, November is quickly approaching.

Confession

I have a confession.

For the past 10 days I have been in Europe with my 11 year old and my sister.

As you are reading this I am probably on a 10 hour flight, standing in line for the bathroom with 15 of my closest friends.

In a few days I hope to tell you about and show you our trip to London, Berlin, and Rome.

But for now, I’ll continue standing in line and pretending like I don’t hear the man in seat 32C snore, tell the people with the screaming baby, “no worries, we’ve all been there,”, and weigh the consequences of stealing the blanket from the little old lady in 35D 🙂

A New Fangled Contraption

We’ve been taking our dog Sophie for a walk every morning now that swim practice is over for the summer. If we don’t take her in the morning, it’s not happening since the morning temps have been in the 80’s and you can only imagine how good the air feels in the afternoon.

So there we were the other day: My 11 year old on his bike, my 8 year old on his scooter, my 4 year old on her bike, and me running with the dog. OK, it was more like me being dragged by the dog in order to keep up.

We were on a long straight stretch when my son on the scooter asked if he could try and have Sophie pull him.

I handed him the leash and a ton of laughter ensued.

(We’ve recreated the scene in order to get pictures but at a much slower pace)

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They would get going quickly but after about 20 seconds they would be going so fast that the leash would have to be dropped.

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Then there was chasing after the dog and then starting the whole process again.

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So each morning now the boys get one straight away to have Sophie pull them and then we give her a break for the rest of the walk. It works out great except that my 4 year old is now begging to have Sophie pull her on her bike. No way is that ever happening!

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Just like AJ

Last week I had a sinus infection which required a trip to the doctor to get some meds.

Honestly, I could have skipped the doctor, I just needed the z-pack.

My doctor was out for the week so I saw the visiting doctor.

As she was going through my file she said, “So you are writing an autobiography? Have you had an interesting life?”

What? Ah, must be wrong file.

“It says something about an adoption?”

“Ohhhhh, yes. I had to write an autobiography for the home study. No, I’m not publishing anything.”

“You have your own kids and now you are adopting? You are just like Angelina Jolie.”

Actually I could see her point. We have lips, we have breasts, we have legs, …really the comparisons could go on and on.

Except that it kind of bugged me.

We not adopting because we want to be like Angelina and Brad, we’re doing it because we have room in our hearts for another child. And I’m not so sure it’s good that everyone’s first reference for adopting should be Angelina. Maybe it should be your neighbor or friends, someone you see at your child’s school so that it doesn’t seem so strange or different to adopt.

“You are just like Angelina Jolie.”

Ridiculous.

Mac n ‘Cheese Pizza

Yesterday I told you how the boys are cooking this summer and getting to choose what they make.

My 8 year old loves the Mac n ‘Cheese pizza at Cici’s so he wanted to make his own version.

Mac n’Cheese Pizza by Andrew

 Step one: Make pizza dough using this recipe.

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Step two: Layer dough with mozzarella cheese.

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Step three: Cook macaroni and cheese using the recipe on the box.

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Step four: Place cooked mac n ‘cheese on top of the mozzarella.

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Step five: Put pan into oven and cook for about 15 minutes.

(picture before put in oven)

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Enjoy!

 And if Mac n’ Cheese pizza is not your thing maybe this recipe will be….

Key Lime No-Bake Yogurt Pie

Caroline and I made this recipe one afternoon and it was a big hit with everyone.

Happy Cooking!

What My Boys are Cooking

Each summer the boys are in charge of one dinner a week.

The only condition in choosing food is that it can’t be something they have already cooked this summer.

The boys enjoy cooking and have been pretty good about ensuring that there is either a fruit or salad with the meal. They have made sure to steer clear of any veggies on the menu.

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Here’s what they have served:

Week 1:

 Alex: Grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, grapes
Andrew: Beef tacos and cantaloupe
 
Week 2:
 
Alex: Chicken patties on bun, fries, and strawberries
Andrew: Cheese sticks as an appetizer 🙂 , 3 types of pizza (including mac n’cheese pizza), and blackberries & blueberries
 
Week 3:
 
Alex: Cheese raviolis with homemade red sauce, cheese bread, and salad
Andrew: Homemade calzones with salad
 
Week 4:
 
Alex: Spaghetti, homemade red sauce, homemade meatballs, and salad
Andrew: Hot dogs, chips, fruit, and yogurt
 

Maybe not all are the healthiest options but I want to make sure it’s their meal and not mine.

I’m hoping all of this cooking by them pays off so in a few years they will be doing all the summer cooking (insert evil cackle).

Summer Reading So Far

Next to Love: A Novel by Ellen Feldman

5 out of 5 stars

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From Amazon: t’s 1941. Babe throws like a boy, thinks for herself, and never expects to escape the poor section of her quiet Massachusetts town. Then World War II breaks out, and everything changes. Her friend Grace, married to a reporter on the local paper, fears being left alone with her infant daughter when her husband ships out; Millie, the third member of their childhood trio, now weds the boy who always refused to settle down; and Babe wonders if she should marry Claude, who even as a child could never harm a living thing. As the war rages abroad, life on the home front undergoes its own battles and victories; and when the men return, and civilian life resumes, nothing can go back to quite the way it was.
 
From postwar traumas to women’s rights, racial injustice to anti-Semitism, Babe, Grace, and Millie experience the dislocations, the acute pains, and the exhilaration of a society in flux. Along the way, they will learn what it means to be a wife, a mother, a friend, a fighter, and a survivor. Beautiful, startling, and heartbreaking, Next to Love is a love letter to the brave women who shaped a nation’s destiny.

I really love historical fiction books so I found this book a good read. I loved the characters, all though at times I was frustrated with them and for them. The pace of the book just right with the chapters follow the close friends for about 25 years, detailing their struggles, triumphs, and relationship. I stayed up several nights getting this book finished.

Mommy Tracked by Whitney Gaskell

2.5 out of 5 stars

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From Amazon: For Anna, Grace, Juliet, and Chloe, the idyllic town of Orange Cove, Florida, is home…but even in paradise, balancing the challenges of motherhood and life is never easy.

With a son in the throes of the Terrible Twos, divorced restaurant critic Anna has too much on her plate to reenter the frightening world of dating—no matter how expertly her new admirer wines and dines her….Grace has three beautiful daughters and the perfect husband, yet she’s increasingly obsessed with one nagging flaw: her excess baby weight…. Ambitious Juliet is desperate to make partner at her law firm. Fortunately, her husband stays home with their twins. But at the office, Juliet is finding more than work to occupy her time….When newest mom Chloe gives birth, her husband seems indifferent to parenting their son. Chloe is so overwhelmed that she finds herself slipping into a nasty habit she thought she’d overcome.

Kind of couldn’t wait for this book to end. It started off promising but I just didn’t care what happened to the characters. Using a supplement to help you lose wait and you end up in the hospital? I had no sympathy. About to have an affair with your boss? No sympathy. Your husband gives a stranger your baby so he can go play golf? Complete sympathy but that only lasts for a few pages.

The Beginner’s Goodbye: A Novel by Anne Tyler

3 out of 5 stars

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From Amazon: Anne Tyler gives us a wise, haunting, and deeply moving new novel in which she explores how a middle-aged man, ripped apart by the death of his wife, is gradually restored by her frequent appearances—in their house, on the roadway, in the market.
 
Crippled in his right arm and leg, Aaron spent his childhood fending off a sister who wants to manage him. So when he meets Dorothy, a plain, outspoken, self-dependent young woman, she is like a breath of fresh air. Unhesitatingly he marries her, and they have a relatively happy, unremarkable marriage. But when a tree crashes into their house and Dorothy is killed, Aaron feels as though he has been erased forever. Only Dorothy’s unexpected appearances from the dead help him to live in the moment and to find some peace.
 
Gradually he discovers, as he works in the family’s vanity-publishing business, turning out titles that presume to guide beginners through the trials of life, that maybe for this beginner there is a way of saying goodbye.

Several years ago I read Anne Tyler’s book, Digging to America, and loved it. So when I saw The Beginner’s Goodbye on the library shelf I decided to give it a whirl. To be honest, I was disappointed but I think that’s only because I remember loving Digging to America. This book deals with Aaron and how he handles the death of his wife Dorothy and everyone trying to help him. Interestingly, the book is written using Aaron’s voice so all of the thoughts are from a male perspective.  While I found the characters pleasing I did not get a great sense of caring one way or the other what happened to them. If you’ve got a choice between reading this book ot Digging to America, go with the latter.