42 Pains in the Arse

I’ve mentioned a few times about a project my husband and I were working on, one that nearly drove us over the edge.

This was the sneak peak.

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Now here’s the story.

My daughter’s preschool had a school auction to raise money for an outdoor cover on the playground so I decided to donate a gift certificate to my etsy shop.

I tried to think of a way to make an eye catching display and settled on a picture frame with chicken wire.

I found a large detailed frame, spray painted it black, and had my  husband add chicken wire to the back. I then spray painted some clothespins and hung up information about my  shop.

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It looked something like this (I, of course, forgot to take pictures of the actual frame):

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I also had a book of products with the frame:

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After dropping off my donation, which I valued at just under $7,000 (or slightly less), I received an email from the school director asking if I could make 40 of the chicken wire frames for her staff for their end of the year gift.

“Jackpot!”

“Yippe!”

“Who needs Powerball?!”

We do, that’s who.

My husband and I jumped at the opportunity to make a little cash. Boy were we fools.

After saying “yes,” to the job, I scowered area Goodwill, thrift store, resale shop, and garage sale for about 3 weeks. I’m fairly sure there are no more 8 x 10 inch frames left in the DFW area.

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After sanding down and spray painting about 9 of the frames, we decided to add the chicken wire. That’s where we ran into TROUBLE.

Out of the 9 frames, only 2 didn’t break.

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At this point, we were a week out from the delivery date and freaking out a bit.

We were using a hand stapler and it just was not working.

050800 So I decided to buy an automatic staple gun from Home Depot for $59 and hope that would help.

Thankfully, it worked (most of the time) and we were back on track.

Each frame also had glued on ribbon on the back so that the chicken wire scratch anyone.

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Texas received quite a bit of rain during this time which under different circumstances would have been wonderful, though when you are trying to spray paint 40 frames, it really is awful.

Mix that with room mom meetings, field days at two schools, and a soccer tournament weekend and we were sprinting to get the frames completed.

A lot of the spray painting occurred in our garage (with the door up) but we are fairly sure we were high for two thirds of this project. Complex math was not our friend at this time.

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In the end we finished on time (even providing an extra 2 frames, hence the 42 pains in the arse title), although I was drying clothespins with a hair dryer 30 minutes before the drop off.

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Turned in, done!

A little money was made and a lot of learning too.

You would think I’m done with renovating frames but I’ve actually got some bigger frames just waiting in my garage. I’m going to start spray painting those soon.

Maybe next week.

On second thought, maybe next month.

I’m Back & Thankful

Well, I didn’t plan on  being away from here for a week but that’s just how things turned out.

My husband and I were furiously finishing a project I had said yes to (more tomorrow) and only finished about  30 minutes before the completed products were due. Nothing like cutting it close here 🙂

A week ago the awful tornado in Moore, Oklahoma struck and killed so many.

The following day, the meterologists were telling us to expect huge storms with tornadoes a real possibility. Needless to say, everyone around here was on edge.

Before school, the kids and I brought a mattress downstairs and placed it by the tub. We then practiced getting into the bathtub and placing the mattress on top of us. It wasn’t exact but we did the best we could.

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We also gathered bike helmets, important papers, a first aid kit, and a pair of shoes for everyone. We always have our bike helmets handy when it’s tornado time, in case things start to fall on us. It’s probably silly to have them but it always makes me feel better knowing they are around.

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Around 1 pm things started to get rainy. At 2 pm Caroline and I headed over to the elementary school because the wind was picking up and really raining. Apparently, every  other parent had the same idea since it took me until 2:30 to get the boys. By this point it looked like a hurricane outside and my middle one started to cry. He was saying, “The tornado is going to get us.”

In our run from the school to the car we got soaked so everyone changed clothes once we got home. We turned on the tv and ate ice cream. Hey, it seemed incredibly reasonable to me, if the power goes out, the ice cream will go bad. Hence, we must eat the ice cream. After all, no one was in the mood for a frozen tuna patty so we went with next best thing.

I sent the kids to play while I continued to watch the weather reports on tv. All regular programming was ignored for constant weather reporting which just added to my nervousness.

Thankfully, there is no big ending to this story. The weather passed us by 4:30 pm, my husband came home at 5:30 to ask if it had even rained at the house. I will disclose here that I was ready to slug him at that point as my nerves were just about shot. We had frozen pizza for dinner, again ignoring the frozen tuna for something better, and continued on as normal.

Everything was normal except for the fact that my  four year old whining,”I wanted the tornado to come,” and I was busy pricing portable storm shelters online.

Art Holder for Markers, Crayons, Pencils, Glue Sticks, and Scissors

I have wanted an art holder for our kitchen table for awhile now.

I looked around the garage and found an old tea light candle holder that I bought at Goodwill for $3 several years ago.

My husband drilled the holes further down & then I sanded it to create this new piece.

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I could sand it further & then paint it but frankly that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

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When the art holder is on the table I have noticed the kids drawing and creating more than usual. I place various drawing books we have as well as blank paper and watch them go to town.

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Tomorrow I’ll share with you some of their favorite doodling books!

Cardboard Boxes – So Much Fun!

The last time I talked about Caroline’s super hero party it was concerning the scavenger hunt, bean bag toss, and the chest letters they received.

Today it’s, “Exploring the City!”

When I looked on pinterest for Caroline’s super hero party I came across party decor which had buildings with it. I thought, wouldn’t it be fun for the girls to be able to play in the buildings?

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Otherwise known as, “Cardboard Boxes are so Much Fun!”

One of the missions the kids had to complete was, “Explore the City.” This simply meant, bring out some cardboard boxes and let the kids have fun.

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A week before the party, the kids and I drove around gathering big boxes that had been discarded in the new subdivision they are building near us.

We then set up a painting station on our driveway and got to work painting the boxes.

I used regular house paint that we already had so the cost for this project was $0.  

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Caroline wore her painting outfit – yellow pants, old white shirt, and a pair of the boys’ old water shoes – always looks like she’s a retired Floridean 🙂

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Everyone got in on the action.

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Once the boxes were dry, my husband cut out doors and windows in each box.

And here are the final results –

Every Super Hero town needs a City Hall…

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the Movies…

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A Jail to put the bad guys…

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And the library!

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The cardboard boxes stayed in our house another week before they were completely destroyed.

Good fun!

Middle School Scheduling: A Last Minute Switch

I knew when my husband came home with large protruding crazed eyes, walking ahead of Alex and saying “I’m going to let him tell you,”  it was going to be good.

But first, let me back up.

Since Alex is going into middle school next year, it is time to fill out his schedule.

We were all in agreement about what type of math and language arts he would be taking. Science and social studies are standard as well as technology and PE.

That left only only one elective.

He chose art.

Super. No homework. All in class. Free. Simple simple simple.

On the schedule paperwork you must rank your top 3 elective choices.

Alex put art first, band second, orchestra third.

There was no way he was doing theater or choir so we were fine with his choices. Not even a lengthy and impassioned speech from his dad about his joy of being a baritone in sixth grade choir could change his mind.

All set.

Not quite.

Apparently, if you put band down anywhere on your list, you must come in for an instrument test. The kids test out each instrument they are interested in to see if it’s a match for them.

This is where you insert my husband’s eyes practically leaping out from their sockets since he was with Alex.

Alex chose to try the french horn, the trombone, and the trumpet.

An area band director critiqued the student after each instrument try.

When Alex tried the french horn, “Good sound, wonderful pitch!”

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When Alex tried the trombone, “Good sound, wonderful pitch!”

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When Alex tried the trumpet, “Good sound, oh my, that’s the best sound that has come out of any student today. Wow you are a natural. The sound you produced was absolutely amazing. Wow. You are just a treat to listen to on this instrument.’

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Or something like that.

Let me tell you when it is not going to be a treat listening to that instrument.

EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL.

Yes, Alex came home glowing, wanting to play the trumpet.

“I want to switch to band. The lady said I had a great sound. She said I was the best all day.”

……deep breaths…….of course she did, that bit*h………release of air……

“Wow, what made you change your mind?”

“You realize there will be lots of practice involved?”

“Might be difficult carrying a trumpet as you ride your bike to school.”

After a few talks and days to think about it we have a new list of electives:

#1 Band

#2 Art

#3 Orchestra

I now realize this “try your instrument” is such a scam.

I’m onto you middle school.

We won’t be making that same mistake with the next kid.

Of course, I felt a little better last night when a mom texted me last night saying: James switched from theater to band! What did Alex decide?

He decided to switch from art to band – playing the trumpet. You cannot make me put on a “band mom” t-shirt. What instrument did James decide on?

The bassoon! No shirt here but we might be forced to put the decal on our car.

I laughed and suddenly felt better.

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The bassoon requires private lessons.

40

My husband recently turned 40 so the kids and I decorated for the occasion.

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The glass jars are filled with black beans and then have popsicle sticks standing in the beans.

Each popsicle stick had a little picture the boys chose that represented what they thought turning forty meant.

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And then they start to get good…

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a tortoise…

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..Mr. Fredricksen from the movie UP (of course, he’s a widow in the movie so maybe it’s not so funny)…

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“I might not be over the hill but I’m past the point of no return.”

Just for the record dear, I think 40 is fabulous!

 

The Tooth Fairy

The tooth fairy visited here the other night.

Thank goodness she remembered to come.

On one occasion, a few years ago, the tooth fairy forgot completely.

I think she was distracted with the new Law and Order that was on that night.

Anyway, it was ugly.

Crying ensued, excuses about a storm making it difficult for her to fly were thrown out. An overall disaster.

Thankfully, she remembered to come the following night, bringing money, a toothbrush, and a new book.

You know, Negligent Tooth Fairy Guilt.

Trust me when I say you never want to go through that.

In steps Mr. Tooth Fairy to the rescue.

Immediately upon hearing the words, “I lost a tooth,”  he reaches for his phone and ignores the child completely. He quickly punches in numbers and commands which will alert Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy at 10:03pm.

At said 10:03, an alarm begins to sound.

Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy have no idea what is happening and begin to think it must be time to take out a nonexistent loaf of banana bread.

Soon after though they come to their senses and remember that everyone’s happiness is on the line.

A minor panic occurs when realization hits that no $1 dollar bills are to be found in the house. An intense debate begins on what an awful precedent it would be to give $5 for one tooth.

The problem is eventually solved and Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy have a deep sleep knowing they have completed their mission.

Early the next morning the child is thrilled to wake up and discover 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel under his pillow.

Mr. & Mrs. Tooth Fairy smile and know that everyone’s happiness it all due to that little device sitting on the kitchen counter.

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Happy Valentine’s Day

My husband and I were watching a taped Katie Couric show the other day.

In the beginning he fained interest but was disappointed when I turned it off.

The show was about plastic surgery mishaps.

The stories, pictures, and agony these guests went thru truly made my stomach turn.

Anyway, after viewing the stories I said, “Well, you’ll just have to except that I will be old, saggy, and gray.”

There are many replies he could have had but he chose this one.

“It’s okay that you are going to be old, saggy, and gray.”

I was thinking more along the lines of, “You will be beautiful to me no matter what,” or even, “You will always be beautiful to me.”

 But that’s not what I got.

I teased him and we laughed.

He made it up to me by buying a few boxes of girl scout cookies which I thought was perfect.

Now he will have to love me old, saggy, gray, and fat 🙂

Love you always Derek!

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Dear Lord,

Please watch over the men in my life when I die.

Since I am the only one who apparently has the ability to change the toilet paper roll or notice the extra roll has been used they will need your help.

They will be hopping out of the bathroom with their pants down trying to reach the cabinet where the paper is kept. It won’t be pretty but I know you will see that they don’t fall.

It may get a little ugly when they realize the extra toilet paper has been used up and the next best item to use is on the kitchen table.  It won’t be pretty again but at least you will have provided for them.

Don’t worry when this continues on for a week and it still doesn’t seem to bother them. Continue in your good work and they will eventually see the light.

Your faithful follower,

Jennifer

Prodcutive Weekend

I start every weekend the same way.

With a drink.

No just kidding.

It’s only milk and cookies for me on a Friday night.

And a Thursday night. And a Wednesday night but that’s beside the point.

I start every weekend by writing a to do list.

I usually put a craft project for me, an activity with the kids, cleaning chores to be completed, a house project, grocery store list, returning items list, piano practice reminders, any sports listed for the week, reminder to walk the dog, and about 30 more things.

Usually I have broken up the tasks by day so as to not feel too overwhelmed.

Thanks to one kid with walking pneumonia, one with a fever, and one with a sporting event, this weekend was looking doubtful in terms of productivity.

But amazingly,  I fee like so much was accomplished in our house, whether it was on the list or off the list.

Jambalaya was cooked. Homemade hot pockets were made. One birthday present was bought. Two Valentine packages were wrapped. Many books were read out loud. One basketball game was played. Three Shots on Goal…MADE! One trip to Gymboree. One birthday present bought. One item returned. Cleaning all bathrooms from top to bottom. Four frames hung. A billion pieces of laundry washed. Three episodes of Say Yes to the Dress viewed. Ten Super Girl cuffs made for birthday party. And One Boy Scout Proboscis monkey project completed. And for those of you who are not familiar with the Proboscis monkey, it may win ugliest animal ever.

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Told you.

All in all it was a good weekend. Now hoping I can get two out of three kids out the door tomorrow so I can start working on my Monday list.