6 Weeks

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It has been 6 weeks since my miscarriage and I’m angry.

Just plain angry.

I don’t know what stage of grief that falls under. In fact, I purposely have not looked at the stages of grief. I don’t want to think I’m on stage three when a bad day makes me realize I’m really still at a one. I know I will teeter back and forth between the stages, whatever they may be, but I don’t want to know about them officially just yet.

Here are the stages I have gone through:

Stage 1: Sadness. To the core.

Stage 2: A Need to Hide: I could not see or talk to anyone the first two weeks. I knew I would break down and it was not something I was comfortable doing in front of so many.

Stage 2: Retail therapy: I told Derek I didn’t want to hear anything about our Discover bill this month. Just pay it and we’ll worry about the next bill in due time. I’m sure he’d say THE LOFT, Target, Macy’s, and Dillard’s have benefited immensely from my grief.

Stage 3: Annoyance: Annoyed that Derek gets to carry on with life as usual and I am stuck waiting. Waiting to exercise, waiting to have a direction again, waiting to feel normal.

Stage 4: Jealousy: Looking at pregnant woman wishing it were me. This one always makes me feel like such a jerk since I’ve already been blessed three times.

Stage 5: Anger: I’m angry I had to quit my part time job I loved. I’m angry I can only exercise 2 times a week right now because of some complications. I’m angry I got my period. I’m angry I can’t fit into my summer clothes because it’s 85 degrees. I’m angry the daycare can’t seem to clean my daughter’s nose once during the day. Just name it and I can give you my side of it and how to be angry about it.

Stage 6, 7, 8, 9, 10… I don’t know what phase I will go through next but I do feel confident I am moving in the right direction. Writing has truly been cathartic for me. It lets me share at my own pace.

I will be fine. Better than fine. Just not sure when.

Boys

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Last week Alex invited a few boys over for his birthday. The first part of the party involved me driving them to Legoland. It’s a 30 minute drive and I only managed to remember a few of the precious jewels they said.

From the mouths of 3rd grade boys, enjoy:

“Last week we got to speak to the astronauts on the space station. I wanted to ask – Uranus – Does it have a crack?”

farting sounds – lots of giggles

“Dude, remember when we were camping and the door just closed on itself? It was bloody Mary.”

farting sounds – lots of giggles

“Don’t you know anything guys, it was really her Uncle Henry. Bloody Mary was taking the week off.”

farting sounds – lots of giggles

“Guys…inside voices guys.”

farting sounds – still, more giggles

“My third grade teacher got married. She changed her name to Mrs. Fleming.”   “Why did she change her name?”   “Dude, she’s not a pop star, she has to change her name.”    “Lots of paperwork is involved when you want to change your name.”

“Remember when we were little”

Bewildered

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I must be more attractive than I thought.

Or maybe it’s my glowing personality.

Either way, I’m bewildered by my locker room experience today.

Let me back up and tell you the story. Then you can be the judge.

After swim practice today I showered in the locker room. The other female swimmers  were showering as well, chatting up their various plans for the week.

Once I finished showering I dried off by twisting a towel around my head and used a separate towel to wrap around my body. The second towel covered me from my chest to mid thigh. I stepped out of the shower stall and walked to the mirrors where I began laying out my things – lotion, brush, clothes.

I noticed my teammate Lynnae come walking around the corner from the showers. She had a towel wrapped around her and was carrying her caddy of shampoo products.

I smiled at her and went back to laying out my things.

As Lynnae walked past me she squeezed my right bum cheek, smiled at me in the mirror, and kept walking.

????????????????????

What the hell just happened here? I thought.

Aren’t teammates suppose to pat each others’ bums, not squeeze them? At least that’s what I think I’ve always seen basketball players on tv do?

Swimmers, they never even pat. Basketball & baseball players, yes.

I reiterate, swimmers NEVER!

Was I just violated?

Did I just get to second base with my 57 year old teammate?

 

 

Tree Mural

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Why is it projects always take 14 times longer than you plan?

I knew I wanted to have a tree mural in Caroline’s room so I began searching for inspiration pictures in December.

I looked on Janey Mac vinyl but didn’t find exactly what I wanted so I combined the designs below:

Classic Tree Swirl w/Birds, Crazy Swirl Branch w/Owls, Swirl Tree w/Birds, Owls, Flowers

I took pictures all along the way: blank wall, the tracer, the tree, etc but they got lost in the world of technology so all I have are pictures of the finished product.

I printed out the vinyl pictures, enlarged them, and traced them onto the wall using a tracer.


I started with the tree first. I used the basic shape of the inspiration tree but then added several more branches.

The birds and the owls came next.

The initial green I used was too light so I darkened it up about 50%.

Everything on the wall needed about 3 coats. Ugh.

Probably would have gone faster if I had painted in increments longer than 15 minutes.

After many painting sessions I was done at the in the middle of February.

I told my husband I will seriously consider shelling out the money for vinyl next time.

Only 6 weeks to paint a tree. In terms of project completion, that’s got to be some sort of record around here.

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That Sure Is

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Last night I went to the store to get some groceries. I chose the line with the 16 year old male cashier as opposed to the 60 year old woman. I figured less chatty, quicker, and will get the job done faster.

Among my items were 5 large containers of frosting. I am making a birthday cake for Alex and want to make sure I have enough frosting for it. My husband can attest to the fact that There’s nothing worse than running out of frosting 15 minutes before the party starts – not that I have ever been inadequately prepared for a party. Just saying, it could happen.

So as the teen grabs the frosting and scans it he says, “That sure is a lot of frosting.”

“Yes, it’s for my son’s birthday cake.”

That got me to thinking.

I wonder what he would have said if I had 5 boxes of tampons? “That sure is a lot of tampons.”

I was almost tempted to run back and grab the tampons just to find out.

Maybe I’ll wait until Alex’s 16th birthday.

I’ll send him to the store for the frosting and the tampons at the same time.

I bet that will make for a lasting birthday memory.

Master Calendar/Schedule

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Since we have 5 people in our family we naturally have 673 things going on at any one time. While I have my personal calendar and Derek has his own, somehow we would still each miss recording events. This miscommunication often lead to frustration by both of us so I decided the solution was a master schedule.

We determined the master schedule needed to be in the kitchen so everyone could glance at it or add to it when needed. We placed it above the chalkboard and next to a magnet board we brought from our old house. The magnet board is a great place for the dry erase markers since they have magnets on the back of them.

We used a 38 x 26 frame we had sitting around. Besides the cost of the dry erase markers this was going to be a completely free project. That is…until we broke the glass. Off to the home improvement store Derek went to buy new glass and we were back in business.

I printed off some days of the week labels while Derek stuck two large pieces of paper together. After I glued the days of the week at the top of the blank pages. Derek divided it into appropriate sections. Each day is roughly 5 inches x 4 3/4 inches big.

Here’s an example of a light day: 6:00 soccer for Andrew & 6:00 lacrosse for Alex.It also reminded me of what I needed to bring to Caroline’s school for a teacher luncheon.

A busy, yet typical Saturday

My favorite part is that it’s easy to wipe on and wipe off with a cloth.

Anyone else have a Karate Kid moment there? Wipe on, wipe off, Daniel-san!

Do you have any fun organizing tips? I’d love to hear them.

I’m sharing my schedule here:

Tip Junkie handmade projects

Get Your Play On

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MissPrettyPretty.etsy.com has the most delightful playhouses.

For me, there is nothing better than a toy which sparks a child’s imagination. I despise dislike electronic toys which kids tire of quickly. I can see hours of entertainment with these playhouses. The playhouses fit right over a card table or you could build your own PVC pipe structure to fit it on.

Farm Stand Card Table Playhouse, Personalized, Custom Order

Isn’t the camping one adorable?

Starry Night Camp Site Card Table Playhouse, Personalized, Custom Order

Love the girly pink one – it has over 40 removable pieces

The CupCakery Card Table Playhouse, White Scalloped Roof, Brighter Colors, Custom Order, Personalized, 40 removable and replaceable pieces

In addition to the playhouses, the shop has costumes and accessories. After seeing the mermaids tails, I’m thinking Caroline would be adorable as one for Halloween.

Now for the best part!

You can win one of these playhouses valued at over $200!

Tammy at She Wears Flowers if hosting a giveaway for a playhouse!

Jump on over and visit her site and leave a comment on the giveaway section.

Hurry, the giveaway ends April 11 at midnight.

she-wears-flowers.comGOOD LUCK and GET YOUR PLAY ON THIS WEEKEND!

Hunting a Wabbit

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Since it’s springtime we have an abundance of rabbits in our neighborhood. We often see them early in the morning munching away on the grass. While the kids love seeing the rabbits, I quite dislike the thousands of rabbit droppings in our backyard. However, having tons of rabbit droppings does not dissuade the boys from playing tackle football or inspire us to actually do something about it.

Caroline and Andrew asked to play in the backyard on Sunday. Immediately after opening our back door we saw a rabbit run from the play set to the middle of the yard. A mini showdown occurred as we stared at the rabbit and he stared back. Thirty seconds later Caroline went running toward the rabbit hollering, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Thankfully, the rabbit took one look at the wild haired child and went under the fence.

Following Caroline’s cue, Andrew began screaming, “We have to follow it! Get the keys!” I weighed my options of either staying in the yard and dealing with their whining about why we didn’t follow the rabbit or just getting the keys to the back gate and following the rabbit. Following the rabbit won out.

After opening the gate my two explorers quickly spotted the rabbit sunning himself 20 feet away.

They were on him in no time. Barreling toward his resting spot they were surprised when he took off. Quickly scanning the area, Andrew located the poor fellow under a tree. Caroline kept yelling,”Wabbit. Twee,” along with “Wabbit. Here!” The rabbit wisely ignored her command to “come here” and stayed put.

Andrew decided to get closer. Unfortunately, his trusty sidekick was still next to him yelling, “Wabbit. Here!” So the rabbit ran. My little Diego and Dora ran too. Tree after tree they followed the terrorized animal. He finally wised up and escaped under someone’s fence.

I am fairly convinced their tactics won’t land them a show on Animal Planet anytime soon.