He Will Never Learn

My husband will never learn.

We’ve been married 14 years and he still doesn’t get it.

Maybe it’s the fact that he grew up in a family with only two children. He doesn’t have the hoarding tendencies that those of us with many siblings learned.

Whatever the reason, he is still dumbfounded to come home to this.

When there is a bag of Oreos open in our house, EAT THEM RIGHT AWAY!

I tried to tell him. “Dear, I opened a bag of Oreos in the pantry. They are hiding on the top shelf so the kids don’t see them. You need to go ahead and eat some before I eat them all.”

TWO DAYS LATER he goes to look in the pantry and is stunned to find the cookies gone.

I mean, two days later? When I say you need to go ahead and eat some, I mean RIGHT NOW because I am heading to the pantry as we speak.

I know he thinks I should feel bad but I don’t.

I mean, I TOLD HIM.

But, I will try again just like I always do … Derek there is a candy bar hidden on the top shelf of the pantry…go eat some NOW.

 

12 thoughts on “He Will Never Learn

  1. I’m so upset about the Oreo’s. Two days. I mean, I could see if it was five, six, or seven, but two.

    I think I’m going to have to go out and buy a couple of boxes to keep at my desk at work so I don’t run into this problem anymore.

  2. I feel your pain Derek. However, Doug would side with Jen b/c their motto growing up was “He who eats the fastest, gets the mostest.” (family of 6)

  3. Ha! I grew up in a house full of people. I had a pantry closet in my bedroom. I kept all of my snacks in my pantry and it had a lock on it. It was nothing for a gallon of milk and a box of cereal to disappear over night. A loaf of bread to be gone the day of purchase. Cookies are you kidding me!? A day was a record in my house. I came across a small camping fridge at a yard sale when I was a teenager. My pantry got an upgrade and in my closet that bad boy went. I now had cold drinks and my own milk right in my bedroom. It wasn’t long until the idea spread through out the house.

  4. The same thing happens at our house…however, just recently AH (awesome husband) has finally figured out to hide his own stash of goodies. It took him 16 years of marriage, so there’s still hope!

  5. Oreos never make it home at our house. If your not in the car then your just out of luck. Derek- your a lucky man to even get a warning. My poor husband just gets to see the empty packages in the trash. Oreos lasting two days is just crazy talk.

  6. I personally hate Oreos….but my husband ….is another story….I never buy them but somehow they magically appear…there must be an “Oreo fairy” at our house…

  7. I’m not feeling the love here.

    Let me just add that the chocolate bar sitting in the pantry I was so looking forward to I had actually already eaten and to top it off it was a Coffee Crisp. (For those not in the know you can read about them here.) I’m the only one in the house who eats Coffee Crisp so it could have sat in the cupboard for six months without anyone taking it.

    Though Jen did buy a new box of Oreo’s the other day and I have taken them to work to enjoy at my own leisure pace. Best wife ever.

  8. Oh my, you kill me Jen! That is so funny! Oreo’s don’t last in our house either. I was dieting a couple months ago and the kids convinced me to buy some Oreo’s for them. It was pure torture looking in the pantry over the next 2 days seeing them disappear and not enjoying a single one of them. I feel your pain Derek! 🙂

  9. So funny! And same story here. I promised they’ll be more left once the kids all move out… oh…. say in about 16 years. ;P

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