What Are They Really Like?

At the very minimum, I have read at least one piece of children’s literature everyday for the last nine years.

Through those daily readings I have become quite familiar with some characters. I have visited museums with them, gone camping with them, and even rescued a baby whale.

But I want to go deeper. What are their lives really like?

Let’s examine a few angles the authors might take next time.

I’m sure these could be best sellers.


Does the man with the yellow hat realize the reason he is still single is due to the fact that he wears the same bizarre outfit everyday and lives with a monkey?  And what makes him think George will stay beside him this time? It’s time to invest in a leash and match.com my friend.



Do Emily Elizabeth’s parents pay more for lawn service than their neighbors? Due to the enormous dung piles in their yard I would guess they must pay at least double. Of course, they probably make a hefty profit on the colossal produce they are able to sell at the local farmer’s market.



Does Mama Bear ever regret marrying Papa Bear? He is apparently a huge dolt who must have the highest health insurance premiums in Bear Country. Although on the flip side Mama must be a drinker since she still lets Papa Bear take the cubs on adventures knowing full well what the outcome will be. Maybe social services should look in on Brother and Sister Bear.


Pondering anything about your favorite characters?

5 thoughts on “What Are They Really Like?

  1. You know I’ve never once thought of the size of Clifford’s business but that’s a good point. It must be *huge*.
    Do you think Mr. Howard goes around the yard shoveling it into a wheelbarrow cursing under his breath. “Oh, sure, I’ll walk him, I’ll feed, I’ll take care of him. Bah, kids.”

  2. Can you come up with something for, ” Fred and Ted”hatshat about “flat Stanley”? Got to be one of your most hysterical posts…..like tripping down memory lane and what about that elephant, Babar?

  3. They are far from my favorite characters, but I always wonder where the heck Max and Ruby’s parents are? Why does young Ruby have to raise her little brother? They have a grandma but apparently no parents!

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