I read these and laughed.
It makes me think this might be what the Griswalds Thanksgiving might be like.
1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your “shake” back to the table. Announce that it’s the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught” and refuse to say anything else.
3. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.
4. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, “See mom, I told you they wouldn’t notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing.”