I was a shameless mother to Caroline.

But in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you this.

After consuming a dinner of milk, orange slices, and cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster last Friday night, Caroline proceeded to vomit her entire stomach contents on the restaurant floor.

It was a lot. I’m talking change of shoes and clothing bad.

I’m pretty sure I will never eat another cheddar biscuit for as long as I live.

Oh, and it was our first and only trip to Red Lobster.

The following day Caroline and I ended up in the children’s book section of Borders while the boys finished up in a movie. One hour into the movie and she was done so we went for a walk.

Caroline and I were standing side by side browsing the movie section when I let quite a foul smelling gas escape. It was silent. I do have some pride.

At the moment of release, a woman stopped directly behind us to examine a book.

I’m not proud of what I did next.

I bent down and said, “Caroline, do we need to change your diaper?”

Yes.    I     Did.      I blamed her for the smell.


A little tit for tat.

I am pitiful and shameless.

And smelly.

18 thoughts on “Shameless

  1. Well you either blame it on the kid or the pets… and since you can’t take your pets to the mall (not to mention you don’t have one) you have to resort to the kid!

  2. Thanks so much for this. I needed a good laugh! Day 7 in Maine…what a trip!

  3. Oh, you poor thing- I hate when my kids puke like that. My youngest did a Chuck E Cheese. I mean non-stop. And I thought he was done, so I started moving him out the door… and then he puked again and again- we left a trail. My older two believed me when I said “They’ll never let us back in here again” so actually… that turned out pretty well…

    And aren’t our kids the perfect little scapegoat for gassy moments? 😉

  4. This is so awesome, I can’t even say! It makes me wish my kids were still in diapers!

    Also, she probably did you a favor. Red Lobster is gross.

  5. Ha Ha! Wish I could say I’ve never done the same! But she did deserve it after the Red Lobster puke-fest:)

  6. Haha! I’m convinced my husband blames the baby all the time. Although my 5-month-old does let out some pretty righteous farts. (Makes Daddy proud. And me, too, really.) Don’t feel bad. Kids owe us big time for all the messes we clean up. Mmmm, and I love me some RL cheddar biscuits.

  7. I’ve done it too. Heck, I still do it if the hubby is within “stinking” distance. They always believe men do it more anyway.

    Stopping by from FYF

  8. LOVE IT!!! I would have so done that to… in fact I did that a few days ago at walmart blamed it on my son’s dirty diaper, but in my defense there were like 8 people on the isle with me. I took all I had not to laugh as I said it as I am a horrible liar.. needless to say my hubby totally busted me.

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