Dear Mr. Hotel Designer

We recently returned from a two day mini vacation in San Antonio where we visited Sea World (“Yeah, you are the best parents in the world!”) and The Alamo (“This is soooo hot and boring. Can we go home now?”).

Derek chose our hotel since it was close to Sea World and I must say it was quite nice. Whomever designed the space thought it out well except for three design flaws which I have taken issue with. I have composed a letter outlining the three areas in question in hopes that they will rectify the situation before our next visit.

Dear Mr. Hotel Room Designer:

I just stayed in one of your hotels with my family and had a pleasant stay. However, I could have enjoyed my stay more had the following issues been addressed when you initially designed the rooms.

#1 – I applaud you for putting a sink in the bathroom. Many third world countries skip that step so again, I applaud you. I understand that 65% of Americans do not wash their hands after using the restroom. We, however, like to think of ourselves as part of the other 35%. So perhaps next time you could design a bathroom where the sink is out from the corner and larger than an airplant sink. Rinsing my mouth after brushing my teeth was quite difficult and required more flexibility than Mary Lou Retton ever had.

#2 – I appreciate technology as much as the next person and realize it must be at our fingertips but I ask you, must it really be at two year old fingertips? In my opinion, your front desk employees’ time would better be served helping your paying customers instead of constantly answering my daughter’s room service requests. Fortunately, she didn’t spend all of her time with the phone. The television was also at her height so she enjoyed turning it on and off repeatedly, much to the dismay of her brothers.

#3 – I understand you went to a high priced design school in New York and know design but I was wondering if next time you might decide to pass up the frosted glass doors for the bathroom. I love my family, it’s just that I’d rather not see the outline of them doing their business while I watch Law and Order reruns. Perhaps since you knew the two year old would be controlling the television you decided to provide an alternate method of entertainment for the adults. My husband and I have always wanted to perfect our shadow puppet routine and you gave us the opportunity.

In closing, I would like to thank you for allowing my family to stay in your fine establishment. It was extremely relaxing once my children fell asleep. Please consider making the above changes.

Yours truly,


2 thoughts on “Dear Mr. Hotel Designer

  1. So funny! Well, maybe not so funny when you’re the one enduring it, but it’s funny the way you put it, especially the part about the bathroom door.

    And the Alamo is one place my family really wants to see some day. They were huge Davy Crockett fans. (And they’re girls, believe it or not.)

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