Yesterday while we were at church an older man leaned over and whispered, “Your children are so well behaved.”
I smiled, thanked him, and gave myself a little encouraging mental tap on the shoulder.
Less than a minute later Caroline broke my toe.
I was standing while singing the hymn when I felt a huge pain surge through my foot.
It is only by the grace of God that I did not scream,” Holy Mother F***er.”
I looked down to see that she had pushed down the little kneeling step onto my big toe.
My open toed sandals did not cushion the blow.
I sternly but quietly said, “Stop that right now. That hurt, ” to which she turned her body away from me and started “singing” the hymn.
I’m pretty sure it went something like this:
What a fool my mother is…She can’t do anything to me in church…Everyone is watching us here so she will not put me in time out or give me a spanking….I love church.
Yes, I’m willing to bet that’s how her song went because 5 minutes later she decided to do it again.
But this time she finished off by standing on the bench as well.
This time I did make a noticeable sound.
While I glanced down at my toe it was red but not bleeding.
I hoisted her onto my hip and would not put her down for the last 10 minutes of the service which I’m pretty sure really lasted for 45 minutes.
After church I spoke to her again about how much that hurt and she seemed to get it.
Either way, I’m wearing tennis shoes to church next week.
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