There is a kissy girl in kindergarten.

Normally I wouldn’t care.

But my son is in kindergarten, so I do.

My sweet innocent loving boy is in kindergarten WITH A KISSY GIRL!

The other day he came home saying, “Bambi kissed me on the lips.”

No her name is not really Bambi but I think it fits her nicely.

What do you mean Bambi kissed you on the lips?

“I was playing at recess and she walked up and kissed me.”

Do not let him see the steam rising from your head. Keep it together. Do not walk over to the school right now.

We then had a discussion about telling the teacher if something like this happens…and then I ran as fast as I could to my computer. My email was calm and clear, “Not sure if this really happened but wanted to make you aware of what my son is saying.”

About two hours later I took my children to the grocery store. As we walked passed the deli counter my son said, “That’s her.”

“What?”

“That’s Bambi over there.”

Cue my wide eyed glare and robotic head turn.

Cue the western music.

There’s going to be a showdown in the middle of Kroger.

“That’s her?”

“Yes.”

“Did she really kiss you on the lips?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to ask you for the last time, did she really kiss you on the lips? Because I’m going to walk over there and speak to her mommy and you better be telling me the truth.”

“Yes, she did.”

I slowly turned around and envisioned my near future. I’m going to be the crazy mom on the playground from now on. My son has probably made up this lie and now I’m going to look like a freak confronting someone who is holding 2 pounds of ham.

“Excuse me. Hi. I am Andrew’s mom and he told me something which I’m not really sure is true or not. He said Bambi kissed him on the lips on the playground.”

She turned to Bambi, “Did you kiss him on the lips?”

“No.”

Liar. You little liar. You kissed my son, you two bit tramp!

“You better tell me the truth. Did you kiss him?”

“No.”

“We will talk about this when we get home.”

“Like I said, I don’t know if it’s true or not.”

I felt awful the rest of the day and questioned my choice of approaching the mom. But I quickly felt vindicated when I received an email from his teacher the following day.

Apparently, “the kissing incident,” did happen. Andrew didn’t tell the teacher on duty because it wasn’t his teacher. It was corroborated by others. Andrew and Bambi have been informed that they need to stay away from each other and there should be no touching of any kind.

I can see the school playground from my house but have decided to wait on the purchase of high powered binoculars.

I may change my mind though since I will have more time on my hands.

My husband is now in charge of all grocery shopping.

You never know who I might see, and more importantly, what I might say.