Driver

Dear Young Female Driver,

I would like to express my sincerest appreciation to you for teaching my children about white trash behavior today. It is with the utmost most respect that I retell this story so that others will bask in your glory.

I was leisurely driving my kids to piano lessons when I noticed the navy Honda Accord I was following gradually slow to a virtual stop in the middle lane. I slowed and waited until the Honda started moving again. I remember thinking at the time how odd it was to stop in the middle of the road. But silly me, you were just preparing for your lesson.

About one minute later, the slowing down occurred again. I was confused since there was not a light in sight. I see now that this was just your introduction.

I honked my horn to make you aware that you were holding up traffic and I was concerned about this potentially dangerous situation. You though were concerned with the lesson. Immediately after I honked, you gave me the finger. A beautiful up sweep of your left arm shooting upwards while pointing your middle finger to the sky. My nine year old was certainly paying attention now.

I took this as a teaching moment when all I really wanted to do was show you how graceful my arm movements can be.

“You see, Alex, this is what we call white trash behavior.”

In his entire nine years I had never broached the subject with him before but I see that you were right and I needed to widen his horizons.

After your initial teaching you swerved into the right lane.  I stayed back a bit but notice the light ahead had turned red. I pulled up beside you.

It is here where my six year old is also included in this life lesson since his view of you was now not obstructed.

You turn, just as I do, and scream “F**k you bitch.”

Such precious words for my children.

Normally I would have told my children you screamed, “Firetruck in the ditch!.” But you made sure there was no mistaking your sentiments with your rolled down window.

I could have continued on with your insightful teachings but I decided that our cup overfloweth with white trash knowledge for now. Best to leave some things for another day.

I took an unnecessary turn and left you to spread your wisdom to others.

What a wonderful teaching moment for my family.

In between being kind to others and telling the truth, I had neglected to share in the teachings of the middle finger and foul language.

Well done, young one.

And they say the youth of America doesn’t appreciate education…from where I’m sitting I’d have to disagree.

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