A Message for Al Gore

Dear Mr. Vice President,

I know the environment is important to you. I know this is your passion and such an important cause. I know you try and educate people on ways to keep our planet healthy. But now, Mr. President, I feel I must educate you.

As a mom, I do care about the environment. I do know we should all be working to improve our water systems, stop deforestation, and address the climate crisis. I do want wants best for my children and their future children.

But not today. Not tomorrow. Probably not next year.

You see, Mr. President. I never get a spare minute to myself in the bathroom. I always have a visitor. I’ve had a visitor for the last 8 years. Mind you the visitors have changed but still I am not alone. I’m sure the secret service accompanies you many places but I’m willing to bet you do get a little privacy in this one area.

In the past, currently, and in the future there is only one thing which will occupy my visitors. The toilet paper roll. My visitors enter the bathroom with great surprise and enthusiasm each time they notice the roll. From there, not even your top military commander could stop the destruction. It is only a matter of nanoseconds before mass amounts of toilet paper are lying upon the floor. For years, rolls upon rolls of paper, have been wasted in this manner.

Yes I do I contemplate all the trees that have gone into the making of this precious resource. Yes I do know all of the energy that is consumed in the process of making this toilet paper. And yet, I simply toss it.

Let’s face it Mr. President, I toss it and move on. I simply must. Somewhere in my house the water is running, the lights are on, and my visitors are using every scrap piece of paper to color on. In time I will jump on your environmental mission -probably around the time I go to the bathroom all by myself.



3 thoughts on “A Message for Al Gore

  1. I don’t know, Jen. This wasting-a-roll-of-toilet-paper-to-keep-the-child-amused activity seems to me to be closely connected with your lack of toilet paper growing up. A subconscious thumbing-your-nose at the universe, if you will, saying “Look at me NOW. I’ve got toilet paper to SPARE!!!” ;o) (And can I make use of hyphens, or what?!)

  2. Clarification – Al Gore was never President. Remember who became President as a result!?!? Agh.

  3. So this is the true reason why you stock pile toilet paper in the garage. Not for fear of not having any in a crucial moment at the end of a long “workout”, but instead to entertain visitors. Cannot wait until the next time I visit….looking forward to the toilet paper roll 🙂

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