Life is funny.
And sad.
And joyful.
Yesterday there was no post because I was honestly not feeling witty or funny or crafty.
It’s been one year since I had to deliver my little guy in the hospital and say goodbye at the same time.
I know everyone is saying, “Aren’t you over it yet?”
While I know I will never forget that experience, I have moved on and find tons of joy in my life. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It’s just that in the days building up to yesterday I was flooded with lots of memories which are still painful to remember.
So there was no post.
And then life gives you a wake up call that says, “That was enough saddness for the day, time to be thankful.”
I received an email from a friend telling me she has taken her nephew in for several months while his parents try and get their act together.
About an hour later I got an email from another friend saying foster care is near and dear to her heart and she was organizing a project where duffle bags are collected for kids who have been abused or neglected.
She wrote,”They often leave their homes with all of their belongings placed in a black garbage bag – with the unspoken message that they and all of their belongings are no better than trash. The goal of this effort is to provide a child with a nice bag filled with essential items (like underwear and toothbrushes) that they can call their own and help provide comfort as they transition.”
These two emails gave me the momentum I needed to “do something” yesterday. What are the chances I would receive two emails on foster care in the same day when I’ve never received even one?
I gathered what items I could find at home and bought some to fill a box to send to my friend.
My day started slowly and sadly but it ended with a thankful feeling in my heart.
Thankful I have three healthy children.
Thankful I can give those kids a hug everyday.
Thankful for my husband.
Thankful for women who love and take care of others who are in need.
Thankful for a drawer full of clean underwear.
Thankful for my life.
awesome post – you inspire me, Jen! Thinking of you and your family, the loss that it will always be OK to be sad about….and the joy of the precious, wild, hilarious kiddos that you get to celebrate each day.
You are amazing!
It’s perfectly normal to feel down on the first anniversary of such a big loss. It gets better with time, but there is always that little missing piece of life. Filling that by helping others is a wonderful way to move beyond the hurt.
No one could ever ask ‘aren’t you over that yet?’. You are a momma through and through and your little guy will live in your heart forever. Big hugs to you Jen.
Jen, you are entitled to whatever feeling you want to have whenever you want to have them. Losing your little man doesn’t mean that you have to forget him, too. I’m so impressed with you and all that you do for you and your family and friends. Love you. And thanks for the afternoon tears. I needed it.
I wasn’t around a year ago, so I’m out of the loop when it comes to the context of the first part, but that being said, this post was so good. I say we all need to complete the “I’m thankful for” sentence more often.
NO ONE is saying, “Aren’t you over it yet?”
LOVE YA.
You’ve completed 1 year….I’ve completed 13yrs….it changes, but you never forget. You remember in different ways, prompted by different things: a conversation, a tv show, a newspaper article, a missing post on a blog of a friend, seeing the box with all of your baby’s memories. It’s different, but always will he be in my heart and in yours too.
We celebrate our wonderful adorable children that put a smile on our face almost everyday. Then there’s the days they just give us a really good belly laugh and “What were they thinking?”
Consider yourself hugged. xxoo
This was a really beautiful post. It is a good reminder for all of us.
This is a terrific post Jennifer. You’re feelings are completely natural and normal. Love the story about the kids in foster care, what a great potential issue and project to get involved with.
I’ve been thinking about you all week. Thank you for reminding all of us that even in times of sorrow, there is plenty in our lives to be thankful for! I’m thankful for you and your family.
Soooo thankful! Thanks for the reminder…we have so many blessings from above! Love to you.